Back in Time - 2002

CAPITAL 6:
                    P  W  D  L  GF  GA  Pt
Wgtn United           18 14  3  1  54  11  45
Uni Legends           18 14  2  2  61  23  44
North Wellington      18 14  2  2  56  18  44
Waterside Karori      18 10  0  8  48  37  30
Eastbourne            18  9  0  9  46  42  27
Lower Hutt City       18  6  1 11  21  38  19
Petone Prats          18  5  3 10  34  54  18
Tawa                  18  4  2 12  24  43  14
Uni Stallions         18  3  2 13  21  59  11
Wainuiomata           18  3  1 14  25  65  10

2002. What a year. The inaugural season of the Mighty Stallions. I would try and get all poetic about it, but Ben Hodges summed it up best. Here is his take on the history of the Stallions, the very first posting on this blog:

An (Epic) History, By B Hodges

In September 2001 the world changed. 2 planes crashed in to the World Trade Centre, killing 3000 people, a global war on terror ensued.

Commentators point to the U.S.'s foreign policy and the increasing divide between the have and the have-nots as precursors to the events of September 11th.

However, had not a bunch of Weir House residents and wardens decided to form the Uni Stallions some 6 months later the world may now have been at peace.

Why these lads, with an obscene lack of football skills, should have chosen to form a football team is uncertain.

What is known, is that in 2001 the prophet Faq-i-Needa Bair had a vision the Stallions were coming, and that the awful displays of the Stallions in their first season would shake the football world to its knees - the Stallions had to be stopped.

In September 2001 Bair dispatched the Afghani-Pakistan Border Region Sunday Pub League death squad to New Zealand via hijacked planes in New York for a preemptive strike on Weir House the whore building of Stallions spawn . Bair's and the world's hope of Stallions annihilation was denied by the twin towers... I case of hitting the posts and out one might say.

And so it came to pass in 2002 18 losses from 18 games. The beautiful game desecrated.

Packed with cricket and rugby players, the Stallions abysmal run continued in the 2003 season. But hope- a draw or two, a win as well.

2004: upper lower table

As a few footballers joined campaigns improved

2005 Lower mid table

2006 Upper mid table and recognition - V.U.W.F.C. Team of the Year

Stallions' football has developed its own lexicon and culture; doing a "Rauru Albatross", a "Julesirelli Twinkle", a "Hodges Toe-Hack", or simply a "Ben Brooks", just some of the expressions attempting to capture the almost unspeakable horrors of Stallions play.

As testament to the abject horror of the Stallions squad, a weekly prize of a pink headband or "the Pony" award (to be worn by the winner at the next game) is awarded based on the most despicable, pathetic, convoluted, or ridiculous performance/ pre-match utterance/event.

Fear and loathing has resulted in the Pony's securing a corner of the Club Rooms each Saturday for their own, the corner is known simply as"the Stables" or the "Knackers Yard"

The Stallions now have a cell in at least one other country, and across two sporting codes (Football and Cricket). Proliferation of other Stallions codes is expected with current Stallion players in either code having first right of refusal to join the team.

Stallions Highlights:
In 2004 an Olympic player waving his testicles at the team and offering them for breakfast- for the record the invitation was politely declined.
2007 Ben Hodges managing to start( but not take part in) a fight in a match he was just wandering past (Marist Inter v Uni Raiders)

Unfortunately Ben's research skills didn't quite go as far as a look over the archives on the Capital Football website, and from the table above one can clearly see that there were not in fact 18 losses from 18 games.

Somewhat surprisingly, and even my memory deserts me of this, we managed to pick up 3 wins and 2 draws from our first season. We also managed to score an average of over a goal a game, which for a bunch of rugby players and generally non sporting people wasn't too bad. What Ben didn't mention in his history was that the Stallions was set up by a group of Weir House DW's, pulling in random friends and more 'mature' exchange students who were residents at Weir House.

Ben and Hilmar, the Germans, were two such recruits and controlled the midfield admirably, but as can be seen on the table, it was the defense that in the end doomed us to relegation. (Actually, now that I look at it again, the attack probably had a big part to play in that as well! Having the 2nd worst GA and the worst equal GF, we were probably lucky to finish in 9th!) Rauru (yes, I'm writing in 3rd person) and Lachlan are the only two original Stallions still milling around the team, and Lachlan claims that he was the golden boot that year with a mighty 7 goals, but even that is up for debate! Many of the names of the team desert me after 10 years, but one thing is for sure, they will remember their time as a Stallion proudly.

Looking at the table, it's hard to tell if any of these teams still exist as only the Petone Prats and Uni Legends have nicknames attached. After a look at the current tables neither of these teams exist by that name so who knows.

Despite relegation, most of the team felt it was an ok season with plenty of shits and giggles, and it set the social tone for seasons to come. The following year most of the team went their different ways, as often is the way when it is a team of mainly 3rd/4th year students, and the Stallions evolved into more of what it looks today, but that's a story for next week.