A Pony Scorned

Photo: It took all Rauru's might not to throw an Albatross

As I sit here, looking at the pony sitting at the table, I can’t help but fell fired up. Prepare to feel the wrath of a Pony Scorned.

For those out of the loop, the crime for my award? Not kicking out at a player who held my leg after I dived on a ball that had been played from dummy half from the opposition team. Apparently my lack of agro warranted a pony moment. While I lay there on the ground, with my leg being held by the opposition I consciously thought whether or not I should lash out. For those who know me from the Soccer Stallions you would expect I probably would have kicked the leg, but in my new role as a captain who tries to lead from the front I decided against costing my team a possible penalty, even if it meant a possible 12 on 8 brawl in our favour.

As such it was decided by an almost unanimous decision that I be awarded pony. As I have learnt from soccer and cricket Stallions, when awarded the pony, you suck it up, wear the headband with proud, and carve it up in the following week. All of which I intend to do.

But hear this. If any of you fuckers from the London Touch Stallions don't bring an A+ game to the table next week, the fine master (i.e. me) will be fining your ass big time. And don't expect P.C teacher Mr Walker on the field either. I’ll be going hard, and screaming at you cunts who don't step up. You have had your warning.

Yours truly,
Pony.

P.S. Yes this email is all in jest, but honestly, enough of the bitching on the field, let your game do the talking. Till next Thursday...