A couple of Heard on the Sidelines from the Wainui game

Ref: 'When I reach into my pocket I won't be getting my credit card'.

Wainui player to Rauru after scuffle: 'get out of it pretty boy', Aaron: 'That's the first time he has been called a pretty boy', Wainui striker: 'Welcome to Wainui'.

Stallions 3, Marsterton 2

Lets face it - all anyone cares about is who scored the first goal in the new strip. The rest don't matter.

Okay, maybe some - we need a Stallion and a pony. Nominations?

Stallion: Paul - that lovely tap onto the bar and then recollect?

Pony: Struggling to think. Any nominations? A couple of those conceded goals in the first half seemed caused by error? Can anyone be blamed? Can Rauru be ponied for pulling his hamstring on Anderson Park AGAIN?

One of the best heard on the sidelines ever:

Tangihaere: 'Go on, smash him - get sent off!'. Chris - who Tangihaere just offered to be smashed looks sheepish.

Goals:

Aaron

Bakkie

Milky (Heath)

Heard on the sidelines #09816

Dan: ' ...... So, what did you name your daughter?'

The kids are alright

So experience smashes innocence again. A great win to start off the new season. I'll leave the match report to our pony, but perhaps leave you with a few Heard on the Sidelines:

After Joe had held the tango a little too long with his marker:
'Let go of him you dirty old man'.

To Paddy:
'C'mon, you are 28 years old'

Heath, after being told the age of the opponent he was smashing:
'How am I supposed to know he's only 16'.

A couple of drinks afterwards where the following awards were presented:

Stallion: Tangihaere - that clearance from the line - which unbelievably he tried to pass on to Tom who apparently had blocked the angle with such precision (by which time we all got bored of listening to Tangihaere).

Pony: Paul - I'm not exactly sure of this, but others thought it was hilarious - something about saying the ball was going wide and it sailed into the centre of goal.  Look forward to the match report, especially the reliving of Joe's back passes!

Did I get the assists right?

Heard on the Sidelines #3627 - #3629

This post is gonna be a "Guess who?" edition. Who said what? Post answers in the comments section (and for all you newbies, you don't need an account, anyone can reply)

#1 - "The racism that comes mainly from the sidelines is just terrible but FIFA and NZF are unwilling to do anything about it" 
A comment made to a Radio NZ reporter after the loss to Olympic. Ah, say what now!? 

#2 - "That's the first header I've scored since July 22nd 1997 in that game against United" 
Wow. Must have been a memorable header.

#3 - "Let's just put the last 5 minutes behind us and move on"
"Well if you'd #%@&*# listen to what I %^@#*@ said then #^%*(&# %*&^# %$(*^#^@ alright?!?!"
Nothing like a good bit of in-fighting.

#4 - "Gus, get back in the $^#*@^ goal"
To be fair this could have been anyone.

Heard on the Sidelines - the injury edition

"I've got groin strain from last wkd and indoor, which hasn't settled down. I will still come down Saturday and play if really really need to, but otherwise will fill a spot on the subs bench." - Gerald via email. Yep, we really really need you G!


"Keen for a run? We've got 13 but a few carrying injuries so could use 1 more for cover" Rauru text to Gus. 'Cover' is code for '90 minutes'. Everyone knows that.

Heard on the sidelines #42850

Graham: 'Putting me in goal is like putting Homer in charge of the nuclear power plant.'

A nice clean HOTS to get us started - now, what was that one that someone said in that Thai restaurant?

Heard on the sidelines #2416

Joe: 'I'm a whole new player this season'

Pretty good effort today Stallions, by that I mean no one collapsed in exhaustion, no obvious injuries, and some good play (the first 20 of each half were pretty impressive - I guess that says something about the fitness levels). A loss, but take out the dodgy keeper and who knows. Mind you he was using size 486 gloves.

Some good signs for next week.

Heard on the sidelines - the pre season

Corey: 'I'm like Ashley Cole, you can't dislodge me from left back'.

Closely followed by: 'this year the left back's role will be less roaming'.

Heard on the sidelines # 25251

In the clubrooms ...

Rauru: 'The last few days I've been feeling like I'm having a heart attack.'

Dan: 'Well have another beer and more fast food then'

Ah the good old days.

Heard on the sidelines #34512

Sorry Dan, don't want to take away from your match report, but before I forget:

Spencer after his shocking tackle: 'What, I was the last line of defence. That was a goal saver'.

Heard on the sidelines #719

"Watch your f$!#en mouth you f$@&en cat!" The referee lays down the law.

At least I think he said "cat", I can't remember. It definitely started with a 'c'...

Heard on the sidelines # 2801

It was the grand return we have all been waiting for - the Butch is back, and he's mean. Obviously done a bit of practice - remember that great surge forward, big chest and control, a shot from about 30 meters, arguing with his marker who claimed Mike was all hands and pushes (who Mike?). Anyway, great to have you back Mike, and a successful return (if a little longer than you hoped for!).

In Rauru's car on the way out, that was a bit of gentle jostling with the Butch, especially about the best way to welcome him back with his first touch: a huge switch from left to right under pressure? A pass back with attacker's charging? Definitely something in the air that demands some major control? All was all very funny.

An hour later, Mike makes his eagerly anticipated return, jogging past David in the midfield, he tells the ringin not to expect much, hops into position. Immediately David is under pressure and passes back to Mike and the build up comes true. Butch's first touch after the return, strikers charging, muddy field, weak pass - of course Butch stands up and calmly hacks it as far away as he can, I'm sure he didn't know or care where. It was better than watching a Ronaldo stepover or a Messi dummy run.

The Butch is back.

Heard on the sidelines #3215

Jason: 'Aaron, if you push forward and they score on the break, I'm going to f**ken kill you'.

Heard on the sideline #3242

Referee Mike to Dan after a throwin: 'watch your back foot, you are raising it'.

Sure it would have been funnier if throw-in freako Robin was the ref, but the Butch is a good second.

And great work of reffing the game Mike, above and beyond and all that.

Update: In the sentence above Dan's back foot is no longer black, sorry, some of my best friends ... do foul throws

Heard on the sidelines #1273

Tristin, after the ref tells us that in Div 6 there will be no rolling subs: 'We shouldn't have got promoted then'.

Heard on the sidelines #11

Rauru (with evil grin after Lower Hutt score in the final minute): 'There goes a lot of clean sheet fantasy points'. Evil captain.

Its taken me all week to tally all your points Rauru, I'll post them tonight.

Heard on the sidelines 10

'Is your temperature gauge always stuck on hot?'

Mike asks a big question mere minutes before Nick's car breaks down on the motorway on the way to the game.

Heard on the sidelines #9

"That was a shit celebration Rob. I would have been naked and dancing." - Lister giving Rob some stick about his celebration (or lack thereof) when scoring the equaliser against North Wellington. Maybe Aaron meant something like this:

Heard on the sidelines #8

Is this...no it can't be...this isn't Tangihaere is it?


"I was studying Ronaldo this morning. Watch for the scoop."
Walker, T. Ranger gets a little bit excited after watching his man-crush.