Friday, May 23, 2008

Classics from the fine book

Last week, as Nick G's fines hit double figures, we checked through the book for largest fines (including back to back $11 for Nick W - the fine tin looks forward to your return!) we giggled like little school girls at some of our previous efforts - and immediately smelled another potential post.

The following is the finemaster's greatest moment (possibly on and off the field). A loss to Olympic (oh, the bad old days), followed up by a session at the Bull & Bear - who were very new sponsors and the cheap beer and food was flowing. Graham's anger level: calm

Graham didn't get off to a great start. This was the height of doubling his fines every consecutive week if he was late (despite living closer to KP than anyone). Immediately slapped with a $5 fine. There was some lame excuse the fine committee laughed off. Graham's anger level: rising.

Graham also thought he had a pretty good game and started to get upset at the fines being thrown his way. He may well have had a good game, but that's incidental. Fines included: stealing clothes off other players when subbing (ha ha - this season he has been fined twice for nakedness!), taking a facial, poor commitment, didn't get ball, substitutistic, 2 disputed missed shots - including what is listed as a 'missed shot - bad', and equally disputed skined fines. Graham's anger level: simmering

We all know that one of the benefits of attending fine sessions is that you can dispute your fines. Apparently. Graham started objecting to everything, and the fine committee wasn't having a bar of it. A lot of discussion ensured. Graham's anger level: boiling.

Graham goes on and on, getting louder and louder, until he is hit with multiple Judge Judy fines. The finemaster is called a 'c**t' - and responds with a 'swearing at the finemaster' fine, a 'bringing the Stallions into disrepute' fine, and an 'embarrassing the Stallions sponsor in their fine establishment' fine. Graham's anger level: still boiling, other Stallions: rolling around the floor with laughter.

He got off pretty light with $12.50 considering.

Finemaster buys Graham a drink, all is forgiven. Graham's mood for the rest of the night: brooding.

4 comments:

StevieG said...

Never mind all that, all hail the mafia king! Yes that's me by the way...

005 said...

Oh yes, you were good (but you had the advantage of the dark glasses). Perhaps we need to bring mafia back to our drink sessions. Someone bring some cards tomorrow ...

Anonymous said...

aaron can you enlighten me on my indiscretions leading to these fines?

005 said...

Nick, you realise these are historical fines we are discussing that you have already paid up? You aint going to get hit with a bunch of new ones on your return.

But just for the fun of it...

Nick W vs Stokes Valley, 2007
- Not bringing stallion
- Transit fiasco
- late
- back heel fiasco
- done in midfield
- Involved in the 4 way responsibility goal
- Giving away 2 penalties
total: $10

Nick W vs Petone, 2007
- Not bringing headband
- Taking out opposition
- Not releasing
- Handball
- Missed shots
- No remorse for forgetting headband
- Angry man
- Shit striker
Total: $10.00

Need I go on ...