Tuesday, May 13, 2008

London Stallions finally ride!


The London Stallions touch rugby team got their season off to a great start with a 5-0 hiding of Vaseline Alley last Thursday (and with a name like that they deserve a hiding). The signs looked ominous for the Alley when, at the coin toss, their captain asked in astonishment how many subs we had. While we only had 4 (the standard amount) they had none, so round one to the Stallions.
After winning the toss and electing to run with ball in hand, the Spring '08 season was underway, and it didn't take long before the first try was scored.


Walker (I've decided to go for the 'Graham Mann cricket match report' and refer to myself in 3rd person) made a run to the line, took the touch, made a quick play the ball, broke right, and after good hands from two people was left unmarked on the outside for an easy try despite the desperate dive from the defenders.


Try number two wasn't too far behind with the Vaseline Alley defence caught napping and not getting back the 5 meters quick enough. A quick play the ball and dummy half pass gave the defence little time to get back, and it was Walker again who hit the ball at pace and went through the defensive line and raced 20 meters for his brace. The referee dismissed the protests from Vaseline Alley that they had made the touch, saying they weren't back 5 meters, and awarded the try.


The rest of the first half was back and forward with Vaseline Alley only once breaking the line, however, being the superb touch players that they weren't, when they did manage to get through the Stallions defence their player put the ball down after the 5 meter line - not the try line - resulting in a knock-on. Not since current London Stallion Josh Hook in game 1 season '07 has that level of stupidity been seen. Surely as bad a kicking bird poo on the way to taking a penalty and having the ball roll to an 80 year old. So the Stallions went into the break at 2-0 up, having hardly broken a sweat, with Vaseline Alley starting to tire in the 20 deg heat.


The second half was more one sided with the Alley again only once threatining the line but to drop the ball on the final pass. As the Alley started to tire, Jacko managed to skip his way through for his own brace, with Bjarne rounding off the scoring (I don't really remember how they happened as I was on the bench!). The Stallions could have and should have scored more tries, but for some good alley defence and lack of attacking options from the Stallions which will no doubt come with some games under the belt.


The aftermatch drinks was well attended by all Stallions (bar one who galloped off home). The boys got into the spirit of the fines which were kept to a minimum due to the low error rate of the players. After all was said and done the Stallion and Pony votes came about. With the Stallions playing as a star team rather than a team of stars, the decision for Stallion wasn't easy with Walker getting the nod for his early double. The Pony, after to-ing and fro-ing, eventually went to try scorer Bjarne for consistantly rushing up out of the line. The hope is that wearing the headband (and double wristbands) next week will remind him to hold the line and come up as one.


Fine highlights include the brothers Dan and Tim O, and Dan W for the show pony boots (the O'Leary brothers had a clear section in theirs, with Dan W pulling out one red boot and one blue boot - he says the defence of the Crusaders mixed with the flair of the Blues), Tim again for ref abuse (and it was a girl. He said afterwards he has not regrets and will continue to do it all season. Is this London's angry Joe?), Paul for not bleeding (he bled every game of last season), Josh's bridesmaid fine (two assists and no try), and Nathan for getting boozed the night before the game, waking up with a cut foot and black eye (ruleing him out of the game), and not remembering how it happened. Every player with a girlfriend also copped a fine as we built up the first game of the season to be compulsory for all girlfriends. Two of them came at different times only to leave again cause there were no other girlfriends, with two others getting lost for over an hour only to turn up just as the game finished.


All in all a good start to the season. After one game the London Stallions are on top of the table and long may it last. Until the end of the season report...

7 comments:

005 said...

Cheers Rauru, that's brilliant. What amazes me is that it looks like you have found exact replicas of the pony and Stallion. Does your pony still have her tiara? - our pony has been defiled somewhat - but she still has the braided hair following one of many visits to Nick W's house. And double pink wristbands! What do you think Stallions? Perhaps we should source some in honour of our London bretheren - and to make the Pony look even more ridiculous.

005 said...

And you managed top work in a jibe at Nick, brilliant.

energy24.7 said...

Thank fuck we're not going to have to put up with that drivel every week (just an end of season report)!!

And yip, I am all for the double pink wristbands, maybe you can send some over Rauru, becuase I'm not sure if we sell that sort've gay shit here in New Zealand.

Anonymous said...

rauru & his vaseline alley

Rauru said...

Yea, I think the Stallion might be a bit bigger (it's got a schlong too), and the pony never came with a tiara or shoes. Double wrist bands (not allowed to be worn on the upper arm, must be at the wrists) are all good. I'll see if I can be arsed sending some to you.

005 said...

Hey, our Stallion is well equipped - in an actionman kind of way. Leave him alone.

Anonymous said...

that guys a pony if ever i saw one.