Match Report: Brooklyn 2 - Stallions 0

The weather gods certainly weren’t smiling as the top of the table clash between the Stallions and BNU Reserves kicked off at 2.30pm.  Torrential rain may have eased but hurricane force winds were still blowing directly down Happy Valley 1 towards Owhiro Bay and there were areas of standing water in the centre of the pitch.

The Stallions pre-match talk had focussed on not playing long ball tactics with the wind, which went (were blown) out the window directly from kick-off when a shot was attempted which caught the BNU keeper off guard but sailed narrowly wide.  That set the pattern for the half with the Stallions kicking away most of the ball we managed to win while BNU played an attractive passing game using their skilful and mobile midfielders to good effect.

Our attacking chances were limited by and large to set pieces which struggled for direction due to the wind, while BNU made several decent attacking forays.  The highlight of these was when BNU’s 10 year old left winger nutmegged Paddy in the box and went on to smash a shot against the cross bar with the Stallions left helpless.  Highlight of the half for the Stallions was Tangi’s tireless defensive efforts which culminated in a heroic sliding tackle on our own left fullback when Tangi grew frustrated with Chris’ delay in clearing the ball.

Half-time 0-0.

The Stallions made a tactical tweak at half-time to go to one up front allowing us to three in the middle of the park to counter BNU’s main strength.  This proved reasonably successful with the Stallions playing some decent passing football although not making any clear cut chances, and still being vulnerable to being caught on the beak.

BNU had some semi-decent shots from distance but these were either wide or reasonably straight forward for Paul in goal.  The decisive break through came about 20 minutes from time when a BNU corner was headed down and one of their players was quickest to the loose ball to turn it into the net. 1-0 BNU. 

The Stallions re-gathered and picked up the intensity but still struggled to literally make headway into the wind.  We committed large numbers forward in search of an equaliser but unfortunately five minutes from time were caught on the break and a (suspiciously off-side looking) BNU player ran through un-marked to make it 2-0.

That was the final score, which resulted in BNU leap frogging the Stallions to go top of the table.  Disappointing for the Stallions 5 game winning start to the season to come to an end but on balance the better side won.  The Stallions put everything into the game but BNU were more comfortable on the ball and created more chances.  Stallion – Tangi for an all-round determined and disciplined defensive effort.  Pony – Paddy for the clinical nutmeg from the child left-winger minutes after having his own nutmeg effort thwarted.

Fantasy points vs North Wellington Wolves

I forgot to add this photo with my match report last week.  It summed up my day.  At the pub afterwards, having a beer and a wedge, and a big dollop of sour cream ends up in my drink.  The upside is that we've worked out the punishment if you don't score a goal this season - skull a beer with a BIG dollop of sour cream in it!

Graham - 60+, CS, 3 saves = 8

Tangihaere - 60+, Defensive Clean Sheet = 7
Paddy - 60+, DCS = 7

Tim - 60+, DCS = 7

Tom - 60+, DCS, D goal, 3bp = 17

Lachlan - 60+, DCS, D goal = 14

Chris - 60-, CS = 6

Gerald - 60+, Mid CS, assist = 7

Lloyd - 60+, MCS, 2bp = 7

Heath - 60+, MCS, M goal = 9

Carrick - 60+, MCS, M goal, assist, 1bp = 13

Bakky - 60+, assist = 5

Rauru - 60+ = 2 :(

Goals (assists) - Carrick (Bakky), Tom (Gerald), Lachlan (none given), Heath (Carrick)

Stallion - Tom for his cracking strike from 30 out.  

Other contenders include Lachlan for his goal from 30 out (up there with Tom's but it was a shit first touch that put him in position and he slipped as he kicked the ball) and Chris for taking down a man literally twice his size.  Getting called a 'maggot' was good entertainment value as well.

Pony - Bakky for his disgraceful bakky-healed attempt at scoring when he could have paid it on a plate for G (the fact that G would have blazed over anyway doesn't matter).  His attempt at saying there was a man in between them when the only thing between them was 3m of fresh air, and his 5-year-old-boy cry of "Mummy!  Why won't they pass it to me on the left!" tops it off.

Other votes went to Graham for charging out of goal only to clear the ball straight to their strikers, then walking back to the penalty spot to pick daises while the defenders threw themselves about trying to maintain the clean sheet, and Paddy for the ultimate in unStallion-like behaviour of kicking one of their players off the ball like a petulant child after a minor tussle.

Heard On The Sidelines #1

The first in a new series:

Julia: 'Yes, Paddy didn't provide Jack with the best genetic materials ...'

How the tide turns - Graham can no longer be called the genetically inferior one.

And polls on goal of the season and the new miss of the season to the left. They will work like last year - each time a new contender comes along the poll be updated and you will can reconsider your vote.

And apologies Lloyd - that should be 'less shit' - I'm sure you have done some les shit in your time, but this is the wrong website.

A Great Pony Moment

I don't want to steal your thunder Ben, but somethings need more elaboration thatn your little oneliners. And this has the potential to be one of the greats.

The Stallions have very few moves. Generally we just rely on passing it to Aaron, watch him beat 6 players and then slot it top left. But there is one move of desperation invented by Rauru (clearly based on his time walking Kahu) that gets turned to every once and a while - especially when we are under the hammer. Off the kick-off Rauru will boot the ball deep into the corner and Hodges will run like crazy to pressure the right back. It often works. I have no issue with the move.

But cue last Saturday's game, the start of the second half, Stallions up 1-0. Rauru makes the suggestion lets try that Hodges thing (even though Hodges is not there). Paddy puts his hand up for the task, and changes position to pull off the move, and clearly there is a little bit of 'I'm going to show Hodges how its done' at play.

It all goes well, the right back under pressure from the charging Paddy puts it out and we get an attacking throw. No one seems to notice Paddy putting his hand up for a sub, limping off with a potentially torn hamstring, and out for an estimated 4 weeks. Nice one. Stallions struggle with 1 sub for the rest of the game, and will miss Paddy's umm 'dynamic' presence over the next few weeks.

Paddy, you are no Hodges, but you make a fine pony.

Besides, there were no other pony moments.

Photo: Ususal suspects Paddy, Ben, Aaron, Gus, Rauru and Mike hang out at Stallions Central. Paddy is pulled along in the little cart.

Player Assessment - Paddy

Photo: Paddy teaching the lads how its done.


Photo: Paddy's nuts goes wrong


So, a few weeks back i had this idea of players completing anonymous assessments of other Stallions, judging their season and marking them out of ten. I lost enthusiasm, didn't chase up, can't remember who i contacted as part of the pilot scheme and had forgotten about it - until a response dropped into my inbox this afternoon. And its good. So could be fun - if anyone is keen to have a go at a random Stallion please go ahead and send it my way. The assessment can be funny, take the piss, do whatever you want it to do. It can be much shorter than this. should be fun and quick.

So first and possibly last up is Paddy:

Paddy started the season where he left off last year - as the solid all rounder who we tried to base everything around. He went about his business, never really producing the spectacular though he certainly showed his determination in trying to lift the Stallions up to his lofty heights.
This culminated in the match against Terrace at Melrose, about midway through the season, when he had to slot in at CB for a late arriving captain.

It is probably pertinent to note here that this was in the middle of Euro 2008 when the Netherlands, Spain and Russia were working their delightful magic.

Anyway, within 5 minutes Paddy had the Stallions playing it out from the back, teasing strikers and offloading to our fullbacks who usually wouldn't bother with more than one touch in our own half (with good reason). But now they were one touching and giving and going, just as directed by their energetic, supportive 'new' centre back.

That performance would turn out to be Paddy's crippled leg though, holding him back as now the cap' had now seen his defence could survive without him (in fact better than with him), he took the chance to take Paddy's spot in the midfield. Paddy was ever the good guy and never complained, until the subject of who hadn't scored a goal throughout the season came up.

Paddy may have had a leg to stand on (crippled or not) had he not, just one week earlier, produced a performance in front of goal that Michael Ferrante would've been proud of. 7 slices/hacks/miss-cues/shanks (and $7+ of fines) later and he was trying to rein himself in to ensure young Jack will in fact go to University one day.

No one objected. Suffice to say Paddy is the creative, distributor type of player not so much the lightning bolt from 30 yard type! (And no I don't mean like you Aaron) Paddy's set pieces always promised plenty and if only we had someone other than Hodges who could actually attackingly head the ball we would've netted plenty of goals from Paddy's free kicks and corners.

Concerns? Some pathetic theatrical diving (no doubt to try and get himself a well positioned free kick) and his obsession with 'nuts' calling into question his sexuality...

Rating - 7. Typical gutsy performance, injury free and committed (both on and off the field). But without a goal and plenty of opportunities it's hard to get any higher. Maybe season 3 will be a charm aye Paddy?

Paddy's Saturday ...

A record 7 missed shots - $7 right there.

The rest of the fines posted tomorrow.