Match Report vs Marist 5-3: Turned and Scored (and a great prediction)

A fine day welcomed Uni Stallions (pony in tow) to West Wellington. With 96.5% of the stallions arriving with plenty of time until kickoff it took some effort to ignore the huffing and puffing coming from the opposition. I delayed my run and arrived at 12.29, along with the ref, who zipped through his warm ups and it wasn’t long before a beatnik bumblebee ambled onto the park, and to many standing by, casually blew his whistle. Not long after I ignored the keepers call of “Keepers ball!” and headed it back to his open play position (6 yard box ready to intercept any stray long balls). With  a frown that only the hairless can give, our own Fabian Bartez was left standing arms open, mouth agape shooting daggers to the late starter gus, as the ball trickled into the net. Going ahead with high fives all round and even a few hugs, Marist had shown up with concentrated confidence.

The early leaders were knackered from kick off, having warmed up in manner befitting the blustery heights of Capital Five – high vis (aka “Why me?” - Mario Detector Vests), shuttles, a triangles and diamonds drill with lots of clapping -  and thus were battered into submission. Even with a tired lineup (3 games in 7 days for this old frame), the engine up the middle poured litres and litres of sweat on an already moist yet thankfully mown, Wilted park. While the GPS tracker is still on order (with the new shirts), basic trigonometry had to be used to establish the incredible mileage Lloyd ran, which came out at a majestic 7.2 miles - squeakingly close to the record set by, and let me check my records… one Lloyd Davies at Wakefield Park in 2013.

Immense pressure and pinpoint accuracy mid way through the first half secured the point after a goal mouth scramble. There he was again, a second goal in as many years -Lloyd Davies! And the points were even. Was the Gaffer happy to take the point, gleaned from the draw this early? Most certainly not,  and, “Our man who needed an assist for fantasy points” fouled Rauru, who then took the stage, thankfully without breaking a leg, in the box, and took the win, slotting calmly (not over the bar and) to the left. During the half time break it was decided the best option was to lump it up the field, but Heath tactfully talked the mob around with a rousing speech about not running away from each other at great speed. This inspired some equine energy in Gerald whose crosshot from the left hand side flummoxed a confused and slow keeper.  Heath with the assist.

Later in the half, some excellent build up work resulted in 2 pony contender one on ones with keeper, including blazing one over the bar (I think we are still looking for that one) and another where Rauru tried to round  the slowest keeper in the league, but his first touch took him too far to the left then had shot saved off the line?

It wasn’t long before our East Coast Bullet (not to be confused with the East Coast Yeti [Aaron], or the East Coast Ranga [Logan]) was put through on goal by possibly Carrick (he can’t remember) and Rauru had scored again. He put it low past the keeper from a right-hand angle.

A comprehensive victory – I predict another win next Saturday against Olympic 5-2!

(Thanks to Rauru for reminding this old geezer who scored, assisted and missed a bit, as without my glasses I struggle to see far enough to see who scores – unless it’s a spritely turn followed by a power shot near post to beat the keeper – then I know it must be Carrick).