vs Brooklyn Northern at Happy Valley

Arriving at the ground to find thousands of seagulls hunting for cockabullies on the half-way mark did not bode well, and when we shooed them off and starting kicking a ball around I could have sworn they were laughing at us. I think one even said, through a beak-full of cockabully, "Are you stupid wankers seriously going to try to play football in conditions like this?" though that could have been the delirium of hypothermia already setting in after five minutes on the park.

Despite their better judgement, Paddy and Lachlan turned up to watch, and Marty and a mate of Panda's turned up to play. Foolishly, Lachie agreed to ref. Despite everyone's better judgement the game commenced, and the Stallions dominated early in the first half with the bitter wind at their backs. Despite stringing a few good attacking plays together, most coming through the middle of the park and involving Lloyd and Logan, we were guilty early on of taking shots from too far out, hoping to catch the keeper off-guard or drowning. None of these attempts troubled the keeper, and most were hopelessly but understandably off-target.

Having dominated early, Brooklyn began finding their stride, and played a nice short-passing game along the ground, setting up a few threatening counter-attacks. The Stallions defensive line was characteristically stoic and well-organised, managing to keep their heads and their feet despite the conditions, and dominating the ball in the air. At one time, Tangi picked up the ball in the Stallions box, calmly turned a Brooklyn player and went for a storming run down the right side, beating two other players on the way. The Stallions made a number of other promising breaks, and seemed likely to score in the first half, but a couple of off-sides (Tristan), a header that sailed over the bar off a superb corner kick (Corey's head, Logan's kick) and a number of speculative shots from far out saw us goalless through the first half. Brooklyn's forays were generally snuffed out without alarm until they finally scored on a counter-attack from a well-considered and well-directed shot from a sharpish angle. Jason lunged his head at it for a clearance but it was just out of reach, and it sailed across the goal into the left side of the net. 0-1 to Brooklyn, who seemed to be warming to the game.

After a bit more splish-splash, the half-time whistle blew and the Stallions met for a one-minute chat before realising that stopping running was potentially life-threatening and that play should resume immediately. It was then that Panda's mate (let's call him "Frosty") declared that his brain was freezing and that he needed to go sit in Panda's van with the heater on. Definitely the funniest sub-off of the season (he looked like a handy player actually - perhaps one to keep in touch with once his cerebellum has thawed). I was secretly jealous of Frosty's willingness to flee, and had dreamed about doing the same thing, but was afraid of being voted pony. Mmmm.

The second half, the Stallions playing into the Baltic southerly squall, brought a fair bit of drama, and play got noticeably more messy. Lloyd, however, got more Messi and seemed to be able to play his trademark beat-this-player, shame-that-player style. With others involved, the Stallions set up a number of good attacking chances, and a goal finally came when Rauru picked up a ball that got stuck in the bog and didn't arrive to the defence as expected. He beat a Brooklyn defender and managed to knock it through to Tristan who was all alone in the box in a good attacking (and on-side) position. Tristan doesn't miss from there, so it was 1-1.

We all know how these games go - a huge nuts here, a wind-up and air-ball there, a shout of "rrrRRAAOOWRRr!" from a frustrated winger, a heart-in-mouth moment when their goalie nearly dropped the ball over the goal line, a frenzied albatross from an outraged striker, gentle through-balls being carried over fences into freezing, swollen streams, pinecones being thrown to knock balls out of trees, supporters going home at half-time (am I right, Paddy?), the odd moment of weather-defying brilliance from the likes of Paul (whom I saw applying PVA to his gloves before the game) Lloyd, Logan, Tangi, Panda, Graham et al, shouts of encouragement from those with more flesh on their bones than me, keepers with tears of discomfort frozen in their eyes, headed clearances sailing just over the bar, and a grim mixture of regret and relief when the final whistle blows, the game having played out for a draw.

After sitting in the car with the heater on for half an hour, I was finally able to drive home. On the way I wondered, "Does pneumonia count as an injury?"