Match Report

Uni Stallions 3 vs 2 Stop Out, 2:30 Trafalgar Park Lower Hutt

This game will prove to be one of the more memorable Stallions appearances of the season, for all the wrong reasons.

Bolstered by a burgeoning line-up of 13 (helped by the return of Nick W and Joe) the Stallions made a strong start, as we have done throughout the season. Mids were feeding the strikers beautifully, Stallions play was fluid and energetic, and we had their defence scrambling a number of times, though our efforts did not result in early goals for us this time. Once again it appeared that the Stallions were back to their best, and only the unthinkable could change the flow of play.

The unthinkable happened 10 minutes into the first half, when the ball slipped through our back line to one of Stop Out’s strikers who was, without exaggeration, about seven metres off side. He controlled the ball with an air of resignation, waiting for the ref’s whistle to blow. Nothing happened, so he took the opportunity to wind up and shoot amidst bewilderment and outrage from the Stallions and quiet embarrassment from Stop Out’s other players. Even when the ball had burst through Bens hands into the back of the net, we were still expecting the off-side whistle, but it never came. Protest ensued, and Ben Brooks, with anger that we haven’t seen in him since his red card a few seasons ago, walked with purpose out of his box to “communicate more effectively” with the ref. The methods that Ben learnt at his anger management course kicked in before he could reach the ref, and the game continued.

Being 0-1 down early on was unfamiliar territory for the Stallions, and for a while we were playing with large scowls on our faces. This all changed, however, when Gus scored the equaliser off his head following another great corner kick from Paddy. The Stallions were back in the game and starting afresh, though still wondering what kind of munter the referee was.

Ten minutes before half time the Stallions snatched the lead with an emphatic goal beginning with three simple passes to feet from the backs (Goodall I think) to the mids (Panda) to striker (Tristan). Tristan controlled it not far inside the box and found enough room to blast it at a fine angle into the top left corner. Another great finish from our leading goal scorer.

The Stallions continued to attack while our defence managed to stifle any attacking plays that Stop Out put together, and there were a few good ones – a couple requiring committed saves from Ben. The Stallions also had a few more half chances before the half time whistle, with Graham on the right feeding some good crosses to the heads of Ben H and Gus.

Aided by the wind and a sub-normal referee, the second half of the game saw a surge of dominance from Stop Out, and they camped out for large parts of the half in or around our box. The Stallions fought bravely, but when good Stallions tackle after good Stallions tackle led to free kicks for Stop Out, things started getting ridiculous. At one point Paddy made an excellent tackle, came up with the ball and the ref blew his whistle. All the Stop Out players ran back into defensive positions ready for the free kick that Paddy was going to take, until the ref informed both teams that it was Stop Out’s ball. I would have laughed if I didn’t know it was wrong to laugh at retarded folk. After defending valiantly for a long time, the Stallions finally conceded the equaliser – a poxy, loopy bicycle kick from close to the edge of the box that caught Ben B off his line. Poos.

Throughout the second half the game became progressively angry, to the extent that our usually cool-headed captain decided to wind up and kick a Stop Out player square in the shins, despite being in our own box and few metres from the ball (which Paddy and I had covered anyway). Incredulously, the ref did not call a penalty, but gave them a corner! For once the Stallions were thankful for the ref’s Neanderthal genes.

Twenty or so minutes before the final whistle, the Stallions were on the attack again, and Panda was threatening just inside the box. The goalie came out to grab the ball, but got hurt in the challenge. He rolled around clutching his ankle dramatically waiting for the ref’s whistle (mistakenly thinking that the ref was a cheat rather than an inbred), while the ball spewed out to their defender, who shanked a clearance. Gus found himself with the ball well outside the box with an empty goal in front of him, but with defenders bearing down on him. He gave the ball a firm but measured kick into the net, and the Stallions had the lead again.

All of our effort then went into keeping that lead until the final whistle, and Stop Out really began to push us hard. They had some handy players up front, and our defence needed to be on the top of our game to keep them out. The half began feeling like it had been going on forever, and a few requests to the ref about time left resulted in some ambiguous answers: “Twenty minutes” at one stage, then five minutes later, “Twenty minutes”. Mmmm. Finally he told us that there were only two minutes left to play, and five minutes later he checked the place where his watch should have been (that’s right – one Stallion actually noted that he wasn’t actually wearing one!) blew his whistle – a scrappy, ugly but heroic victory for the Stallions!


Stallions team: Ben B, Nick G, Jason, Graham, Ben H, Nick W, Patrick, Aaron, Joe, Rob, Panda, Gus, Tristan.Goals:

Stop Out 10 minutes
Gus 25mins
Tristan 35 minsStop Out 50 mins
Gus 65 mins

Next week vs Marist at Anderson Park