Stallions 5 - 2 Olympic

The Olympic manager just couldn't work out why his players were so s**t

Another great win in a game that had something for everyone.

Always keen to gain that initial mental edge, the Stallions held back until the last few minutes before emerging from the sheds. Shocked that the Stallions had not joined them for their 45 mins of warm-up drills and seeing Rauru's pre-match speed in filling out the team card on the pitch, Olympic suffered an early psychological blow that they would not come back from.

Gus started the ball rolling (although shouts of own goal were ringing out from some quarters). A powerful strike and the "slightest of deflections" gave the keeper no hope and it was 1-0 with barely any time on the clock. With Olympic still waking up, the Stallions dominated across the park getting to the ball first and cutting out any threat of attack. After another early break, Rauru laid on a delightful square ball for Tom to put another away once again taking full advantage of the Olympic back line to secure a deflection and send the keeper the wrong way. (Eds note: Tom was first, Gus second)

When Olympic did make it into the Stallion's final third the resurgent Stallion back line was up to the task. Tangihaere dominated, Paul "get out of my house" Kilford snuffed out anything loose in the box and Graham used all his height to kneel and chest one off the line (Eds note: I believe Graham got Stallion for "putting his balls on the line"). Aaron also demonstrated his attacking flair with a piercing run into the box to collect and smash home another to make it 3-0. (Eds note: Panda, if you're reading this, you would have been proud of the celebration)

Lloyd was not to be forgotten and soon after drove into the box. However, poised to shoot, through came Olympic to shoulder charge him off the park and then head back to collect the ball. The ref only had one option much to the surprise of the Olympic supporters ("what was that for?!") and Rauru calmly slotted the subsequent penalty into what has fondly become known as Walker's corner). (Eds note: Top left in case any future opposition goalkeepers are reading this)

At 4-0 up we were guilty perhaps of easing off, but it still took some climbing up Lloyds back off a corner to beat him to a header before Olympic drew their first blood. Of for half-time at 4-1 the gaffer rang the changes. The fresh legs were timely as Olympic upped the tempo, but the Stallions were up to the task and watching the clock closely Carrick made a perfectly timed run collecting a ball I sent over and shooting back across the face of goal to make it 5-1.

At 5-1 Olympic were dead and buried and started to lose all sense of reality. One poor soul reached out to Rauru for clarification regarding how we could smash them and be top of the table. Rauru thought about answering, but Olympic had suffered enough. (Eds note: Was this before or after you taunted them with "Has mum fed you?!"? Best sledge ever, even if I don't really understand it). As the game wound down we handed Olympic a consolation second goal. By that stage all minds had already turned to the post-match beer.

Well done lads, great win, great weather, great supporters and a nice after-match. Eds note: Gerald hasn't really said why he got Pony and had to write this report, and truth be told, no one really knows, but it had something to do with leaving balls to let the opposition get throw ins, trying to dodge goal kicks but instead heading it into row z, as well as a couple of air balls. The more you think about it, the more Gerald seems like 'Player X'...