Because the footballers are keeping quiet...

Here's another match report from our resident reporter Mr Tim O'Leary. It puts the Karori one to shame...

There will always be a debate going round football circles about which transfers have provided the best value for money... Gunner supporters inevitably bang on about “Terry Henry” (none of this Thierry crap) and how much he cost compared to goal ratio’s and football shirt sales. The Manc’ Scum get a mild semi every time you mention Eric Cantona, he only played three or four seasons for them but at a cost of £1 million he was worth every penny. Scousers always talk about Sami Hypia being the deal of the century and the fact Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carrager are home grown so essentially cost them nothing.

This debate not is confined to football as well... John Gallager, “The Schue”, Matthew Ridge all had great success and I know there wasn’t a transfer fee paid as such all succeeded and definitely provide great value for money (well maybe not Gallager).

Who are the worst transfers ever? I know he was free but Andriy “Your just a fat Paris Hilton” Voronin for Liverpool, Sebastian Veron for both the Manc Twat’s and Chelski... This debate can go on forever.

I know I’ve drivelled a bit but I think I have found the answer to the question...

Who you may ask is the best ever transfer?...

Not all of you may know his last name...

In fact he is soooo good he may as well be one of those Brasilian munters who doesn’t need one...

Not all of you may even know his first name... It doesn’t quite roll off the tongue like a “Pele” or sound as exotic as “Zidane”

That man goes by the name of Mr Brent Simpson...

Newest member of the Stallion crew... Scored four (yes that’s right four) tries on debut... And an obvious Stallion to boot...
Then followed up the next week with a brace...

How much did this man cost in transfer fees? Not a million, not even a thousand, just a couple of pints of god’s bounty... Surely the deal of the century.
Combine this with the fact we’ve already managed to squeeze several quid’s fines out of him, most notably for texting the Missus during fine session... twice. We have already recouped our money and then some.

Stallions now three wins on the trot for the summer season and sitting proudly at the top of the table:

Week 1 8 – 2 vs Speights Titans
Week 2 9 – 2 vs Pindred Surprise Men’s
Week 3 8 – 4 vs Flying Rhinos

Last night game was another corker with a hatrick for Geoff “can I bring my Zimmer frame onto the pitch ref?” Farnsworth, two for Brent “yeah honey I’ll be home soon” Simpson and one each for Fanny (lovely dive by the way, you were my vote for Stallion and I reckon you would have got if you drew blood), Mark (solid few weeks from both Adams boys) and Andrew the ring-in.

Stallion was Geoff for the hatrick and general all round play.

Pony was completely uncontested even by the man himself, Mr Rauru Walker with quite possibly the worst (or best, depends on which way you look at it) example of “t!ts for hands” since the evolution of the opposable thumb... Great break from dummy half from Geoff, over the line, needs to give it to someone to score... Pass to Rauru is right in the breadbasket all he needs to do is fall over... The Teacher gets an 'F' for how the F**k did you drop that?

Anyway a solid game by the Stallions but still plenty of room for improvement.

7:40 vs Obi one Kenobi nil next week.

R**k out with your c**k out