One player who might get more ponies than G-Mann

Great...

I cracked myself up thinking of captions for this but they were way funnier in my head than out loud.

Somehow Nairnville 1 is still being used this season. Not only that, but there's a game being played on it before hand. Let's hope for a transfer...


CAPITAL 6:

Uni Stallions__Marist Inter__Nairnville 1 (2.30);

North Wgtn Villa__Brooklyn Northern__Alex Moore 2 (2.30);

Wainui Undertakers__Lower Hutt Sangham__Prouse 2 (2.30);

Petone Chicago__North Wellington__Petone 4 (12.30);

Miramar Rangers__Uni Accies__Miramar 2 (12.30);

And do you think this refers to Hodges football skills?

And speaking of Hodges, how goes life up the coast Ben? I see KCU are struggling to battle relegation in divs 1 and 3.

vs Brooklyn Northern at Happy Valley

Arriving at the ground to find thousands of seagulls hunting for cockabullies on the half-way mark did not bode well, and when we shooed them off and starting kicking a ball around I could have sworn they were laughing at us. I think one even said, through a beak-full of cockabully, "Are you stupid wankers seriously going to try to play football in conditions like this?" though that could have been the delirium of hypothermia already setting in after five minutes on the park.

Despite their better judgement, Paddy and Lachlan turned up to watch, and Marty and a mate of Panda's turned up to play. Foolishly, Lachie agreed to ref. Despite everyone's better judgement the game commenced, and the Stallions dominated early in the first half with the bitter wind at their backs. Despite stringing a few good attacking plays together, most coming through the middle of the park and involving Lloyd and Logan, we were guilty early on of taking shots from too far out, hoping to catch the keeper off-guard or drowning. None of these attempts troubled the keeper, and most were hopelessly but understandably off-target.

Having dominated early, Brooklyn began finding their stride, and played a nice short-passing game along the ground, setting up a few threatening counter-attacks. The Stallions defensive line was characteristically stoic and well-organised, managing to keep their heads and their feet despite the conditions, and dominating the ball in the air. At one time, Tangi picked up the ball in the Stallions box, calmly turned a Brooklyn player and went for a storming run down the right side, beating two other players on the way. The Stallions made a number of other promising breaks, and seemed likely to score in the first half, but a couple of off-sides (Tristan), a header that sailed over the bar off a superb corner kick (Corey's head, Logan's kick) and a number of speculative shots from far out saw us goalless through the first half. Brooklyn's forays were generally snuffed out without alarm until they finally scored on a counter-attack from a well-considered and well-directed shot from a sharpish angle. Jason lunged his head at it for a clearance but it was just out of reach, and it sailed across the goal into the left side of the net. 0-1 to Brooklyn, who seemed to be warming to the game.

After a bit more splish-splash, the half-time whistle blew and the Stallions met for a one-minute chat before realising that stopping running was potentially life-threatening and that play should resume immediately. It was then that Panda's mate (let's call him "Frosty") declared that his brain was freezing and that he needed to go sit in Panda's van with the heater on. Definitely the funniest sub-off of the season (he looked like a handy player actually - perhaps one to keep in touch with once his cerebellum has thawed). I was secretly jealous of Frosty's willingness to flee, and had dreamed about doing the same thing, but was afraid of being voted pony. Mmmm.

The second half, the Stallions playing into the Baltic southerly squall, brought a fair bit of drama, and play got noticeably more messy. Lloyd, however, got more Messi and seemed to be able to play his trademark beat-this-player, shame-that-player style. With others involved, the Stallions set up a number of good attacking chances, and a goal finally came when Rauru picked up a ball that got stuck in the bog and didn't arrive to the defence as expected. He beat a Brooklyn defender and managed to knock it through to Tristan who was all alone in the box in a good attacking (and on-side) position. Tristan doesn't miss from there, so it was 1-1.

We all know how these games go - a huge nuts here, a wind-up and air-ball there, a shout of "rrrRRAAOOWRRr!" from a frustrated winger, a heart-in-mouth moment when their goalie nearly dropped the ball over the goal line, a frenzied albatross from an outraged striker, gentle through-balls being carried over fences into freezing, swollen streams, pinecones being thrown to knock balls out of trees, supporters going home at half-time (am I right, Paddy?), the odd moment of weather-defying brilliance from the likes of Paul (whom I saw applying PVA to his gloves before the game) Lloyd, Logan, Tangi, Panda, Graham et al, shouts of encouragement from those with more flesh on their bones than me, keepers with tears of discomfort frozen in their eyes, headed clearances sailing just over the bar, and a grim mixture of regret and relief when the final whistle blows, the game having played out for a draw.

After sitting in the car with the heater on for half an hour, I was finally able to drive home. On the way I wondered, "Does pneumonia count as an injury?"

Transfer from the old email

Stallions, this is brilliant discussion ('Tristin hanging around the offside line like a trannie down Marion St'!), but keep it on the blog - that way it lasts forever, doesn't just get deleted - and we can laugh at our antics in future seasons ...

Sounds like a cold, wet one, sorry to have missed it (honestly).

Start communication:

Haha, yea that was a huge albatross after the back pass!  True, forgot about Tristin hanging around the offside line like a trannie down Marion St.

I also thought Paul, while not having to make too many saves (although there was one good one in the second half that was goal bound) did bloody well to not spil any pill.  Every time he came out the ball seemed to stick to the gloves which would have been bloody hard in those conditions.

As a virtual spectator - frozen into an ice-cube at times - I would offer these thoughts.  Lloyd as MVP without a doubt.  Particularly in the second half where he bossed the game, managed to break up numerous Brooklyn breaks as well as somehow finding Stallions with passes out of ankle-deep puddles.

Graeme for Stallion isn't a bad shout (coupled with some near-Pony moments) - I was especially fond of his nonchalant header from the penalty spot that flew about 10cm over my bar.  He then claimed he knew it was fine...  I didn't witness you getting nutsed Rob, but if it was in the second half and wasn't in the penalty area I wouldn't have stood a show of seeing it.  Gracious acceptance of the pony though.

Thanks again to Lachie for a champion effort, you certainly kept that seagulling Tristin in check - how many offsides was that?

Cheers
Paul

Mmmmm. Would have got this email earlier if I wasn’t working late into the evening at school (cue the violins). Yeah, that was a HUGE nuts! I basically extended as far as any man should. A few other funny moments to mention: Tangi’s throw-in to his own feet (Lachie was kind enough to ignore it), Panda’s mate going off to sit in Panda’s van at half time because his brain was freezing (no joke!), Graham’s huge shout after kicking a ball out (anyone heard the word “rrrrrrRRRRRAAAAAAAAOOOOOWWWWWrrrr” before?) and Rauru’s huge gestures at Lachie when he thought there’d been a pass back (was anyone else desperately trying to recall what you should do for someone who was having a fit?). These were just funny moments, not pony moments, but worth mentioning.

Some potential Stallion moments:

Lachie agreeing to ref in the most miserable of conditions

Lloyd, for somehow being able to play the same way he does in dry conditions, beating players seemingly at will

Graham – for having an awesome, vocal, physical game. I remember heaps of good, strong plays – headers, steaming runs (that sounds foul), tackles etc. He’d be my first pick for Stallion.

Tangi’s storming run up the right in the first half, beating 3 players then selflessly passing the ball off before losing it.

Rauru – commitment to winning the ball, harrying the defense, and getting in their faces.

I don’t remember anyone else having weak games (though I can’t say I could see anything much), and am happy (in an appropriately humiliated way) to accept the pony. I played like a dog.

Yours earnestly,

Robin

 

So I'm gonna go out on a limb here and vote robin as the Pony and match report writer. There wasn't any obvious moments of pony-ness or anything much stallion worthy - just reasonably solid moments for most of the game. Sure, there were shanked passes and general moments of average-ness but Robin getting nutsed was pretty funny (although not easily remembered it seems - I'm sure Rob will remember it). I vote Rob because besides Graham (twice) he is the only person not to have written a match report when pony since paddy got in early when Rob was pony last. He's also on school hols so what else is he going to do? I think paddy and Corey should decide on MVP points since they watched the game from the sideline.

It was tough work out there boys but we have a good run in so promotion is still all on. Let's bring it next week.

Shocking weather for football fellas we're still in the hunt though 23.07.2011

CAPITAL 6:
Uni Accies            1    Petone Chicago        1
North Wellington      2    Wainui Undertakers    3
Lower Hutt Sangham    0    North Wgtn Villa      0
Brooklyn Northern     1    Uni Stallions         1
Marist Inter         __    Miramar Rangers      __Game Abandoned
  
                     P  W  D  L  GF  GA  Pts
Uni Accies            13  8  1  4  36  26  25
Petone Chicago        13  7  3  3  34  17  24
Uni Stallions         13  6  4  3  25  18  22
Brooklyn Northern     13  7  1  5  29  27  22
Lower Hutt Sangham    13  6  3  4  27  27  21
North Wellington      13  4  4  5  25  26  16
North Wgtn Villa      13  4  3  6  26  23  15
Miramar Rangers       12  4  3  5  32  37  15
Wainui Undertakers    13  4  0  9  17  35  12
Marist Inter          12  3  0  9  32  47   9

Fantasy Boredom

2nd week in a row of meager Fantasy hauls - at least we have Gus's 0 to cheer us up (Gus, since a few of us missed you pen, we would love a new post which anaylses your thinking, approach, and where it all went wrong - new rule - this should be mandatory for any missed pen or new entry into the worst miss poll. In fact any new entry into goal of the season should also be written up as a blog entry - a chance to talk it up a bit.)

Fantasy points vs Lower Hutt:
Since no-one suggested any other mvps I went with Paddy's suggestions, but gave him the 1 point (not that gaggle of defenders he suggested) - Paddy was clearly again the standout player.
 

Paul	2 (+60), 1 (+3 saves)
Tangihaere	2 (+60), 2bps
Spencer	2 (+60)
Jason	2 (+60)
Mike	2 (+60)
Corey	2 (+60)
Aaron	1 (-60)
Lloyd	2 (+60), 3bps
Paddy	2 (+60), 4 (1 goal), 1bp
Robin	2 (+60)
Logan	2 (+60), -2 (missed pen)
Tristin	2 (+60)
Panda	1 (-60)

Stallions and Sangham line Capital Football's pockets

The Stallions and Lower Hutt Sangham fought out a fairly even but bad tempered 1-1 draw at Kelburn Park.

Expecting to have 14 men I was gutted to be informed by Aaron's mate Tang that there would be no rolling subs as per a new Cap Football directive. This was followed by further advice that the Club would be fined for the lack of corner flags - apparently this is a FIFA directive, good to see their priorities are well and truly sorted. As it would turn out there would be plenty of further fines to come...

Alas the 14 men did not eventuate as Panda turned up and "didn't fancy playing", Spence was late as previously advised , and Graham ... more of that to come. Having only 11 men solved some selection dilemmas (not to mention the rolling subs issue) and we lined up in our new preferred 4-5-1 formation hoping to use the same formation as against the Accies to achieve the same result. Unfortunately KP was not quite Te Whaea, a fact which would trouble both sides.

The game started reasonably evenly with both sides struggling in the heavy conditions. The only real thing of note was the constant off the ball niggle from Sangham. Slowly Sangham began to get their passing game going and created some half chances well saved by Paul. The Stallions tended to favour the "quick" break with our clearest chance falling to giant Rob at the back post who closed his eyes and turtled a perfect cross from Tristin over the bar.

About 20 mins in Stallions took the lead. A 60m punt from Paul was mis-headered by a defender directly to me. Being old and slow there was no way I was going to try and run 40m, so spotting the Sangham 'keeper off his line I hit a speculator whcih looped over his head and in. Possible assist to Paul?

Both sides traded attacks for the rest of the half (occasionally on goal, and occasionally on each other) but Sangham's forays were superbly snuffed out by the outstanding Stallions back 4. Half time 1-0 Stallions. With Aaron leaving at half time for work, the recently arrived Spencer came on and Panda was ordered to kit up. No sign of Graham...

The second half largely degenerated into a running verbal battle between the sides with both skippers spoken to several times. Logan was booked for swearing as was Tristin although I'm not 100% certain for what (potentially for being shoved by an opponent). A couple of Sangham players were also booking leaving the Cap Football accountants rubbing their hands.

Lloyd was having a stormer in the middle and along with Logan combined to make some decent openings.

About 15 mins in I shot from the right hand touchline with the 'keeper only a couple of metres away from me hopelessly out of position. The vball curled, dipped, and landed flush on top of the crossbar and out for a goal kick. Tristin may have been in front of an open goal in the middle I'm told...

20 mins in and Stallions were awarded a penalty for another blatant handball. Logan stepped up and I'm told (I couldn't bear to watch) missed by about 15m. On the subject of handball, you'd think that a team who handled the ball so much would be better at throwing it in. There must have been at least 15 foul throws by Sangham.

80 mins Graham arrives.

A great save by Paul who tipped a shot onto the post kept it at 1-0 but the Stallions were starting to defend deeper and deeper and Sangham were having more of the ball. With 5 mins left they made the pressure count when an unmarke dplayer at the far post scored with a header from a corner. 1-1.

Stung into action the Stallions attacked with renewed vigour with decent chances falling to me, Rob, Panda, and Jason but Tang blew for full time and 2 points had been dropped. Or had they? I reckon it was a damned good point which keeps us right in the hunt, especially with Petone losing again.

All in all I think everybody had great games, and we were all completely shagged at full time. Special mentions to Mike who had a great game and lasted the full 90 despite barely playing all year, Tangi, Jason, Corey were outstanding, as was Paul, and Lloyd who played like it was 1996 all over again including a 360 degree turn.

Pony - Graham. I don't think a person has ever been pony when they don't actually play but getting the wrong time for kick off and turning up 10 mins before the end seals your fate. Logan thanks you... I would have aksed you to write the match report but that's pretty fruitless even when you've been at the game!

Very hard to call on the MVPs but my picks would be

Lloyd 3
Tangi 2
Anyone from Mike, Corey, Paul, Jason for 1