Sorry Heath, this needs to be recorded for posterity

'I learnt a lesson in the weekend.  If someone offers you the chance to fill-in for them, make sure they aren’t playing Olympic.

I’m out with a broken snozz.'

Stallions 5 - 2 Olympic

The Olympic manager just couldn't work out why his players were so s**t

Another great win in a game that had something for everyone.

Always keen to gain that initial mental edge, the Stallions held back until the last few minutes before emerging from the sheds. Shocked that the Stallions had not joined them for their 45 mins of warm-up drills and seeing Rauru's pre-match speed in filling out the team card on the pitch, Olympic suffered an early psychological blow that they would not come back from.

Gus started the ball rolling (although shouts of own goal were ringing out from some quarters). A powerful strike and the "slightest of deflections" gave the keeper no hope and it was 1-0 with barely any time on the clock. With Olympic still waking up, the Stallions dominated across the park getting to the ball first and cutting out any threat of attack. After another early break, Rauru laid on a delightful square ball for Tom to put another away once again taking full advantage of the Olympic back line to secure a deflection and send the keeper the wrong way. (Eds note: Tom was first, Gus second)

When Olympic did make it into the Stallion's final third the resurgent Stallion back line was up to the task. Tangihaere dominated, Paul "get out of my house" Kilford snuffed out anything loose in the box and Graham used all his height to kneel and chest one off the line (Eds note: I believe Graham got Stallion for "putting his balls on the line"). Aaron also demonstrated his attacking flair with a piercing run into the box to collect and smash home another to make it 3-0. (Eds note: Panda, if you're reading this, you would have been proud of the celebration)

Lloyd was not to be forgotten and soon after drove into the box. However, poised to shoot, through came Olympic to shoulder charge him off the park and then head back to collect the ball. The ref only had one option much to the surprise of the Olympic supporters ("what was that for?!") and Rauru calmly slotted the subsequent penalty into what has fondly become known as Walker's corner). (Eds note: Top left in case any future opposition goalkeepers are reading this)

At 4-0 up we were guilty perhaps of easing off, but it still took some climbing up Lloyds back off a corner to beat him to a header before Olympic drew their first blood. Of for half-time at 4-1 the gaffer rang the changes. The fresh legs were timely as Olympic upped the tempo, but the Stallions were up to the task and watching the clock closely Carrick made a perfectly timed run collecting a ball I sent over and shooting back across the face of goal to make it 5-1.

At 5-1 Olympic were dead and buried and started to lose all sense of reality. One poor soul reached out to Rauru for clarification regarding how we could smash them and be top of the table. Rauru thought about answering, but Olympic had suffered enough. (Eds note: Was this before or after you taunted them with "Has mum fed you?!"? Best sledge ever, even if I don't really understand it). As the game wound down we handed Olympic a consolation second goal. By that stage all minds had already turned to the post-match beer.

Well done lads, great win, great weather, great supporters and a nice after-match. Eds note: Gerald hasn't really said why he got Pony and had to write this report, and truth be told, no one really knows, but it had something to do with leaving balls to let the opposition get throw ins, trying to dodge goal kicks but instead heading it into row z, as well as a couple of air balls. The more you think about it, the more Gerald seems like 'Player X'...

Fines vs Olympic, Final Fines

Final fines, topped at $70, refund for Hodges, randoms dropped off the bottom. Make sure you bring fines along on Saturday.

Best fines vs Olympic:

- Graham - Multiple post pass calls: 'Who's wide?', 'Robin', 'Gus, oh Joe'.
- Mike B - ' I was never nutsed'.
- Mike B - Multiple nutsed.
- Mike B - Living in a fantasy world.
- Panda - Tough league player bullied by kids.
- Spencer - The pinched nerve.
- Joe - Tackling own team.
- Robin - those long underpants - uniform special.
- Paddy - Clearing Gus's oggie off the line.

Fines include those pinged for no goals all season.

A kebab, a club, a fight ...

The Yellow Fever forum again throws up some great banter - here is discussion about a potential kebab boycott to officially announce that Olympic are the most hated club in Wellington football. Served up with an extra dollop of mild-level racism and prejudice. Ah the beautiful game.

This is where us vegetarians are always right - we're always protesting against Olympic.

U.S 11 v 2 Olympic Nairnville #1 19.04.08

When was the last time the stallions stood at the end of a game arguing weather or not they'd scored 11 or 12 goals in a game ? I'm picking not very often at all.
So we settled on 11 that's right 11 goals - 2 in favour of the stallions,on what turned out to be a rather nice Saturday afternoon stark contrast really to what most in wgtn would have woken up too, cold wet southerlies.

Turning up and seeing a very young opposition warming up with set pieces, gave the illusion they were a well drilled, focused side, intent on getting their first points of the season.Turns out it was just that an illusion.

The Stallions welcomed the return of Aaron at Rb and Robin to the Lm positions both missing last weeks 1-0 win versus wgtn utd tce,Logan (gus) was making his debut from the bench as was Dan .
the line up being Brooks(gk),Aaron(rb),Nic(cb),Jason(cb),Spencer(lb)Robin(lm),Patrick(cm),Hodges(cm),Joe(rm)
Paul(st)and Tristin(st) subs Logan & Dan

Kicking off left to right from the hill side, the Stallions immediately went on the attack and pressed Olympic winning a corner after 3 minutes which went out over the bar.The stallions tall timber showing they would dominate the aerial balls all day against a very timid side indeed.
The 2nd corner proving this as Robin lept up and neatly headed the ball into the back of the net 1-0 Stallions after a mere 4mins.
Olympic restart and give the ball away, it's not long before the stallions begin attacking again using the wide midfielders of Robin out left and Joe out right with good effect.
a break down the left had Robin in a heap of space and after taking on the defence smashed the ball into the back of the net giving Robin and the stallions a 2nd goal 2-0 after little more than 10 mins.
Needing to rest Robin subbed off bringing Logan in for his first start in a stallions shirt, he wasted no time getting on the score sheet,with his first touches of the ball he found himself in shooting range let one go and in it went, the stallions now amazingly 3-0 up, still only 15 mins gone.
Olympics heads were down and wishing the ground would open up swallowing them whole,not helped by a coach who had nothing but bad things to say about anything they did good or bad all game.
Kicking off again saw Olympic try to mount an attack who at times had the stallions defence on the hop but nothing that would be classed as threatening, a strike on or around the 25 min mark
needing a smothering diving save to his right from Ben brooks but other than that he had little to do in the first half.Dan made his debut coming on for Aaron and slotted into the Rb position.
Another attack from the stallions had the Olympic defence in tatters,they really were having an awful day of it. Logan latching on to a ball in the box and putting in the net to make it 4-0 the stallions running away with it now.
The game began again and it wasn't long before the stallions attacked again,unfortunately for Joe an injury to his foot meant he needed to sub off bringing Robin back into the fray.
the game carried on and the the stallions scoring did too, this time Paul getting the ball and popping it the net too take the score to 5-0.

half time.

I don't think Olympic wanted to come back out after the first half i think they were happy to leave it at 5-0.
The stallions though always start slowly in the second half and being 5-0 up meant we were even slower, Olympic breaking and putting pressure on the stallions defence, Jason unlucky to handle the ball in the box, the ref right there to see it and give a penalty which was duly put into the back of the net 5-1.
A comeback on the cards perhaps ?Not really no,the stallions brushing that off and continuing where they left off in the first half,scoring goals.
Joe had tried to run off his foot injury but was unable to do so and subbed off to allow Paul back into the fray.
Attacking again down the flanks the stallions had the Olympic defence stretched again,Logan was in the box to put in his third goal and the stallions 6th a hatrick on debut. 55 mins gone
the goals would continue throughout the half.
losing count here 60 a curling Patrick corner found Dan on the front post who poked it into the back of the net 7-1 i'm mins gone,another corner see's Olympic gifting us an own goal 8-1 - 66mins

Aaron's desperation to get on the score sheets has him almost hiding in the oppositions net waiting for a strike from anyone of the stallions,which he can claim his boot laces touched.
He is duly given that opportunity when Paul cracks a shot,which, going in the net anyway Aaron decides to stick his foot out to and claim the "it touched my laces "rule (nice try hope you got fined) so Paul's goal makes it 9-1, another own goal makes it 10-1 and Dan scores the last Stallions goal to make it 11 -1.
On the counter attack the Olympic boys broke free and from what looked like an offside position scored to make the final score 11 - 2.

a great team performance from the the back to the front everybody playing their part in what may even be an historic stallions victory.

Uni Stallions 11 : Rob (2),Logan(3),Dan(2),paul(2) oggie's(2)
Olympic 2 : p.k 48mins, goal 85mins

next week : Petone dreamers at memorial #2 2.30pm