Return (Once again) of the Ludlow Curse

I know that no Stallion likes to mention the Ludlow Curse so close to the start of the first game for fear of bringing an end to their own season. Last season, Robin reminded me of this fact mere minutes before the tragic moment which left Jamie sprawling on the ground after feeling the full power of my left foot volley from 45 meters into a howling gale. In a Football Final Destination kind of way, I now feel that I must now be safe, that the Ludlow curse transferred via the power of the aforementioned volley to a player of much lesser consequence. Thanks Jamie. Bring it, curse. But please, if it happens to me, can someone take me to the hospital. I'll be the one crying like a little girl.

Now, we know the curse will hit someone, and it would not be right to nominate who would make the funniest victim - but I think we need to embrace the curse. Let's invent some Ludlow curse scenarios. Best one gets the only prize I have to offer - immunity from the next time they have to wear the pink headband, and the ability to force it onto someone else.

I'll start us off:

Stallions first game in Div 6, playing Wellington United at Melrose Park. The animals locked inside the zoo were eerily quiet, as though they could smell an evil presence hovering over the fence. From kickoff, a beautiful through ball puts Hodges into the clear. He beats one, beats two, trips over his own feet, recovers, trips again, recovers, looks to see if Dad is watching, trips, comes inside Paddy, fakes it, recovers and finally looks up to the see the goal. The ball sits up perfectly ... he is about to unleash when a hairy ball of energy rips across the field from the baboon enclosure and takes off his left leg. Another baboon sitting in a tree calls him back, slowly stands up and pulls off a baboon mask to reveal himself as Robin who has not been in India at all, but living in the zoo training his minions to get revenge on Hodges after the infamous baboon gag of 2006. He yells out there is no Ludlow curse you idiots, we are the Ludlow curse (only Ben and maybe Graham will get the literary reference), rips the number 6 of Ben's back, slots into left mid and scores a hatrick. Ben tries to play on, but with only a right foot and a big forehead to play with he is rendered useless and spends the rest of the season on the couch, the latest victim of the Ludlow Curse.

That sounded better in my head. I just wanted to get rid of those damn cricket stats.

Jamie & Aaron - A touching tale of reconciliation and new found respect

Information drawn from text records give further insight into last weekend's tragic events. Exclusive to unistallions.blogspot.com

Jamie (from hospital bed): 'Score please bully!'

Aaron (from post-match jacuzzi with naked supermodels): 'Just got this. No goal. Hope u doing better, that was rough. Thanks again 4 the strip, bloody good. Will take it easy on u next time!'

J: 'haha, no worries, i wont b doin anymore physical warmups, save the hurtful saves 4 game time. b out up 2 4 weeks @ the most hopefully. Got it dislocated, but oh well, was going to happen one day, hasn't happened over the last 22 years of keeping.'

A: 'Thats better than we thought. C u then. BTW, i did get the pony for that.'

J: 'What did everyone think was the problem? Surely someone else must hav done something else to earn the pony, you were only getting your eye in and i was saving it'.

A: (too kind to say it was gonna be one of us, and I was feeling guilty) 'yeah, a tough jury. All good - taking out the star player with ure best strike of the season def pony-worthy! Boys played well.'

J: 'It was a bloody good strike, if it was game time I probably would hav dealt wit it differently, & now afta the way i feel i will def deal wit it differently.'

And the Ludlow curse strikes again

So we are literally 30 seconds to kick off in the first game of the 2008 season. We have our beautiful new strip, have had the team photo and the usual half arse warm up. I've won the toss and start to wander back and gee up the lads for a whirlwind start.

But as I turn around I see Jamie writhing in pain on the ground and the 'beast' Aaron Lister cowering a little just next to him. What the fuck has happened I wonder. Hoping like hell they've had a bit of a clash and nothing else. But as I get closer things look a little more serious.

Jamie is lying on one side and his shoulder "doesn't quite look right". The growing number of Dr Stallions are sure he has popped out his shoulder and it's certainly hard to disagree, seeing Jamie in an awful amount of pain and his arm almost looking separate from his body.
Then Nurse Jules "George O'Malley" Bailey-Rotman steps in and is ever the carer. Jason calls the ambulance, but "George" makes sure Jamie is alright, has all his gear, called his missus, is as comfortable as possible and in the end even creates a make shift sling with insulation tape and assists Jamie to his feet and onto the sideline so we can (finally) get the game under way (only 20 minutes late - how selfish Jamie!!). Top stuff Jules.

And then the details start to surface.
Aaron was firing in a few last minute shots, showing off his newly found skills since playing 5-a-side over summer, and giving Jamie a few "sighters" until he absolutely blasts one to Jamie's left, but Jamie isn't one to be out-done, especially by Mr Lister who no matter what situation, if he gets one past you, you'll never hear the end of it.

So Jamie makes one of his trademark superman flying efforts to his left, he is clearly amping for the season, but lands heavily on his left shoulder, evidently popping it out. Ouch, not nice and definitely not very considerate of the greater Stallions fortunes.

Later revolutions surface from Aaron that the dislocation was from the power of the shot, not the impact of the ground but I am yet to be convinced of that.

As it turns out the Ambulance never even turned up but Steve Hodges was there to step into the breach and give Jamie a lift to hospital.
Jamie is out of hospital at 3:40pm and a succession of texts, updating the injury, flow through - "Dislocated shoulder for sure, doc said need to play it by ear as to my return, probably have next 2 weeks off, BUT I will be trying to rehibilitate my shoulder quickly so a can get some game time, arm is in a sling, needs to stay in it non stop for a while. Sorry Stallions :("

Then more:
"I am fucken spewing aye...Just need to rebuild the cartilage around the shoulder cause that was ripped to pieces" (mmm lovely)
And:
"While I am out I will be coming to show my support to my team each Saturday."
(And even videoing a game for the overseas boys aye Jamie?)

Now that is some good Stallions commitment.

(pics: Jules in his scrubs, Jamie's save on a typically gorgeous Wellington day, Jamie in hospital and the resulting X-Ray)

Oh and one more thing, it meant Brooksy had to wear the ultra tight reserve 'keepers jersey which was a hell of a laugh. I'm surprised you could even breath in it mate!

Classic Stallions Moment #2 - The Ludlow Curse

With only 1 week until the season begins, it is worth reminding ourselves of one of the most memorable Stallion debuts.

Aaron Ludlow comes into the Stallions, shows up for the first game vs Uni Raiders and slots into left back. About 3 minutes in, his raking pass from 40 metres ends up in the back of the Raiders's net to much celebration and surprise (especially from Aaron - who to his credit never claimed it was a shot - most unstallion-like). Had we found a saviour?

The next tackle sees Aaron's ankle snap. He limps off, never to play for the Stallions again. He showed up to watch a couple of times in a full cast.

From that point on 'The Ludlow Curse' has hovered over the Stallions - after all the pre-season excitement a major early season injury leaving a poor stallion on the sidelines, counting how much those subs work out on a per second basis.

The following season it was Rauru, cut down from behind about 2 seconds after slotting the first goal of the season (possibly explaining the 1 vote for Marist in our most hated opponent poll).

Hopefully next week we can get a win - and all walk away unassisted.

Image: Aaron Ludlow enviously watches the Stallions's extensive pre-season training regime from the other side of the fence. The byline clearly refers to our strikers.