Match Report: Stallions 4 - 3 Naenae

The Pony post from our beloved Heath
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 My debut pony arrived in the first game of the year last season. As least this year I made it to the second week.

This week's game was located in the legal-high capital of NZ - Naenae. Playing conditions were marvellous apart from foot-long grass which made passing a challenge. The opposition looked young and fast but thankfully the dirty-old-men insults were just an Eastbourne tactic. Or perhaps it was the fact that Paddy, Lloyd, Carrick and Tim were missing. That’s almost 160 years of experience missing. Geezus.

 We started well, making the most of a low key warm-up to blitz the first 10 minutes. Some great play around the sides resulted in an extremely agile run down the left wing from Bakie. With no room to work with, he crossed the ball into the path of a retreating defender who, unable to clear the ball from the goalmouth, could only watch as Rauru completed the follow up. 1-0.

It didn’t take long for Naenae to respond. A powerful warning shot from 30 yards was followed by a thunderbolt from the same distance. The ball clipped the underside of the cross bar and Paul stood no chance. Lesson learned - perhaps we'll start defending from further out.

Naenae then went 2-1 up after breaking through the middle. Tangihaere decided he'd already saved enough goal chances and called on Paul to front up. Unfortuantely Paul was still 30m from the ball and was powerless to a lobbed shot. Lesson learned - we need more goals.

Tragedy then struck as Bakkie went down with an over-laden little toe. With only the bare 11, all eyes truned to Gus on the sideline, still in his no.1s after a big Friday night. Despite strict instructions from his missus not to take the field, Gus pulled on his boots and strutted out. I assumed Gus couldn't bear to watch his fellow Stallions battle away with 10 men. He later confessed that a vacant striking slot was too mouth-watering to turn down.

Stallions went to the break knowing they would benefit from downhill conditions in the second half. The call was made for Route 1 football. Back to basics.

The second half started well. I managed to fashion a shot on goal and while there was acres of room to slot it inside the RH post, I smashed it straight at the keeper. Such poor direction caught the keeper by surprise and he could only parry it into the left hand corner. I apologised for such an awful shot. The keeper apologised to me for a poor save. It was a strange exchange.

We then went ahead. A lovely ball from [?] put Rauru through on goal and he cooly slotted his 2nd. 3-2 Stallions.

Naenae then pressed and when a stray cross flew towards our goal, I rose to help it on its way over Paul's outstretched arms and beneath the bar. Pony locked-in. First own goal in 30 years of football.

At 3-3, we pressed up-field to win numerous corners and free-kicks. Then, we only moments left, the ball emerged from the Naenae goalmouth. I nicked the ball from the path of an advancing Azza (who had a certain shot on goal - and even had his shirt half-off in anticipation of a goal celebration) and passed to Tom who chipped to the keeper. Most of the Stallions turned away to ready themselves for the restart only to find the keeper had somehow forgotten to catch the ball (perhaps with his mind on the next play). This description doesn't really do the whole incident justice but the result was everyone feeling slightly embarrassed and the Stallions winning 4-3.

Great games from everyone around the park. Particularly a great debut from Tharron in the middle, Tangihaere at the back and Glen filling in on the right.

Close pony-worthy moments 1. Glen for admitting he went for a 15km run before the game. 2. Gus for his yellow card dissent (geez, if you're going to get one, make it worse than that).

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For those of you that missed it, Heath's OG looked a little like #8 in this. The fight that happened afterwards is also reminiscient of Aaron and Heath's fight which should really claim the assist for Tom's goal, rather than Heath's pass. #3 is kinda similar to Heath's goal as well: To be fair to Heath, he could have almost claimed Stallion as well with his goal which is pretty similar to a lot of these goals, in particular the one at 5:40. Should also be pointed out that Paul went from zero to hero. Nice work Paul! A big save at a big time of the game.

Match Report: Stallions vs Lower Hutt Latecomers - 6 April 2013

Sorry for the late 'blog'.  Have been away.  I'll be honest - its quite late in the week now and I'm struggling to recall a lot of the match.  It may have been the technical concussion I suffered from Dan's corner.

I do remember the Lower Hutt team being a little disorganised.  What was scheduled as a 12:30pm game eventually kicked off at 1:15pm.  This caused what could possibly be the longest and most thorough warm-up in Stallion history.  Is that fair?   I don't know.  It was my first game for the Stallions. 

The game eventually kicked-off with LH only having 9 half-dressed players.  They struggled to defend while we struggled to attack given the multitude of attacking options.  Before long however, Gerald put in a beautiful cross and the ball fortuitously landed on Bakkie's foot and rolled into the goal.  A lucky start.

After that it was all one way.  Paul pin-balled through a couple of defenders and then smashed it into the net.  Bakkie added to his tally and Lloyd? finished off some nice build-up play.  As I said, my memory is fading although I do recall a Stallions goal being awarded by the ref, but then being overturned on appeal by the Stallions players.  I have never seen that in 20 years of footy.  

In the absence of a detailed match report, and since it was my first game for the Stallions, I'll be cheeky and provide a manager's 'appraisal' of each of you:

Dan - a wasted engine in goal (altho pretty good at it nonetheless). Needs to take some pace off his corners to avoid injuries.
Bakkie - a true striker.  Berates midfielders, wants the ball, doesnt come back past halfway.  Nice hat-trick though.
G - ran a lot up and down the left wing.  Will have the highest mileage come end of season.
Rauru - a great referee.  Keep at it.
Lloyd - A solid, classy, and unselfish midfielder.  Reminds me of another Smith.
Chris - great game if I can say so.  Needs a nickname if he is to go further.
Graham - Sets himself high standards.  I haven't seen that much personal disgust for mis-kicks before.  Ever.
Tim - has lost his edge. never shouted at anyone, not even the stallions players.  maybe thats what happens to 'passion' after two kids.
Ian that filled in - couldn't stop smiling.  Could be a sign of deeper issues.
Tangi - came out of the backline to score.  Needs to stop showing off if he wants the players' player award.
Paul - dirtiest player on the field.  Needs to attend a few anger management sessions to get himself under control this season.
that dude that came on at halftime in defence - bloody good player.

Thats all.

Heath Smith