LH Green Machine 3, Stallions 1 - shit, shit and shitter

A lot of talk in the changing shed before the game (mainly to avoid the rain and mud), based around the Stallions insipid season - while we are playing ok football at times the spark has gone - and its simply not as much fun. We put this down to a few things - lack of results, playing a lot mid week which takes away the social side, very few pub sessions, waning interest in stallion/pony/fantasy/blog - where are all last season's tactical discussions, great goal celebrations (ironically we are scoring more goals, but celebrating  a lot less). Its all just getting a little serious and dull. Summed up for me in the way out - Butch talked about how he never would have got away with his new spiderman-themed compression pants before this season - but now we rarely even take the piss out of each other - how can I say anything - even if I did point and laugh at spiderman it would have been through gloves.


So, Plan A was to go out and God-damn wallow in the muddy glories of Nairnville Park, have some fun with it, remember why we are here. The sad faces and limping bodies of the Stallions coming off 1-nil down at half time suggested Plan A had failed.

The half started crazy pinball styles - the ball bouncing around, really open, neither team really able to control or assert dominance. Stallions had the best of the early exchanges - a couple OOPs doing well (thats out of position players for you non-fantasy clowns): Despite season upon season of begging, 'Welcome-Back Corey' thought his promotion to attacking mid/striker was a cruel joke, but no - a masterstroke as Corey linked play and held up the ball well, 'Chop em down Joe' played right midfield and put a couple of great balls into the box early on. We were doing ok.

And then their goal - and why I am writing this report. Simple corner, straight to my marker who beat me to the jump and pulled off an amazing /lucky header that somehow managed to loop above Giant Paul. 1-0, the game had changed. My pony status was not so much for conceding the goal, but for seconds before pointing to their 6'6, 120kg monster and saying 'Spence, that's your man, I'll take the little guy'. Karma.

The rest of the half was pretty much LH's - whose off the ball movement, passes into open space and width in attack offered everything we tried but couldn't do. Definitely one of those here we go again feelings.

In what can only be described as another masterstroke or perhaps as act of 'stop nagging, I don't give a f**k anymore', Rauru caved to let me play up front. The first 15 of the second half was probably our best  period - it felt like we had more attack and managed to get our central midfielders into attacking positions, and applied some pressure - leading to a nicely worked team goal with Rauru slipping me a final pass to score from close range. Reminded me a little bit of a goal I scored there in the mud 2 seasons ago where instead of receiving a pass from Rauru I intercepted a weak shot and tapped it in. Oh the bad old days when I was desperate for goals. That was a shit match too - we were 3-nil up at half time and lost 5-3 - Nairnville 2 not our fortress.

1-1 and it felt like we were on top and should win this thing. Well for about 2 minutes. They scored immediately - remind me if I'm wrong here - but I think this was one of two goals conceded off our attacking corners - our F**ken attacking corners! How does that happen? In both cases good attacking corners (Got to get that in there - oh except for that short one with Gus) that caused danger, were cleared and they managed to get to the other end and score. We should have 2 goals conceded tallies - one for goals conceded (which now for the first time this season equals the goals scored), but also goals conceded off breaks - perhaps the reality that we are now getting too old, slow, unfit for this game is coming to get us - maybe we need to transform ourselves into one of those wily old guy teams who play smartly rather than a deluded old guy team who try to play like they are 21?

The game increasingly turned to farce - especially with the referee's no slide rule which lead to some weird decisions - I was penalised for sliding to intercept a pass - no one was around, Joe got pinged for cleaning getting the ball - no danger at all, but then bad arse Tom was rightly given a yellow card for taking a guy out from behind and trying to break his legs - should have been a red. I can't believe that we have such nasty, reckless and pure evil players in the Stallions.

Amongst all of this horror there were some moments of hilarity. The opposition made a call, presumably in Hindi, which Panda enthusiatically translated 'They are playing a sweeper, they are playing a sweeper' - which he made sure everybody heard, but we were non-plussed - it was hardly going to change the way we played - but it sounded like Panda was warning us they were carrying a knife or something, Jason got a big old nuts, Rauru got in a bit of push and shove - and stopped playing, letting them take the ball away from him (I'm sure I saw Rauru kick out at the guy on the ground - but he insists I made that up), Graham did something that everyone laughed about in the pub but I forget, and then there was one of the most bizarre cameos ever witnessed in a football game - Logan came on for the last 20 but turned the whole thing into a circus - summed up when old clown shoes in their box made about 20 twists and turns, went here and there, but then gave the most gentle of pass backs to their keeper.

Soon the game was all over, and theres nothing as bad as taking down the nets in the rain and cold after a bad loss, especially with news filtering down the radio that Marist have won their second game this week putting them on equal points with us and raising the spectre of relegation again. We should be ok, but we are going to need another win and we only have teams left that beat us in round one to go, starting next week with all conquering Wests.


Despite the horror, we went back to the pub for a couple of drinks for the first time in ages - raised the spirits and a reminder of how we should be as a team. Notable that next to us were a much younger Uni Div 10 who played next to us (in our old strip no less), have won their grade, and were all back at the pub fining and getting rowdy. Our conversation was probably more intellectual and held some gems - including Graham observing that I looked like Inesita out there today, less because of control of games and a wild array of passing, than similar haircuts (hey i make jokes at your expense Graham!). Lots of talk about the upcoming EPL and general bullshitting. Good stuff, more please. I reckon this will translate to a huge win against Wests.

Pub gave us a chance to award some points - like the last few, no real star performances to talk through, but it broke down like this:

Stallion: Tangihaere - stirling play as always, saved the old bacon a few times 
Pony: Aaron - could have got out of it but just wanted to wear the headband once this season.

MVPs:
3 - Tangihaere
2 - Lloyd
1 - Aaron

To those of you who ain't done match reports the last 3 weeks, see that wasn't hard. Can't be arsed proofreading it or making sure if any sense is made. Done.