Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Fines and finemasters


I reckon after all the crying (mainly from Paddy) last season that the fine system was too harsh, too long, too discrimatory blah blah blah cry cry cry it may pay to have some discussion before the season starts about how fines should work. Sure Nick G hitting three figures was extreme, even though he was never going to have to pay that, but the system of using fine sessions as a piss taking tool and then not making those at the top end of the spectrum pay the full amount was not transparent enough for some. So how should we run the fine system this season? Any ideas?

Also, its time for a new finemaster. Who's up for it? the unlucky candidate needs the following abilities:
- To show up at the majority of post-game sessions.
- To have a pronounced evil streak.
- To be honest and fair in all dealings.
- To have a pronounced evil streak.
- Not to single out particular un-co, toe-hacking, blue boots wearing members of the Stallions for special attention.
- To have a pronounced evil streak.
- To write up fine highlights on the blog.
- To have a pronounced evil streak.
- Not be one of the key decisionmakers of the team (there must be a certain anti-authoritarian element here).
- To have a pronounced evil streak.
- Be prepared to lessen the quality of one's football so as not to stand out above other Stallions. You may have to miss the odd open goal or give away the odd pen.
- To have a pronounced evil streak.
- Not to steal all the money.
- To have a pronounced evil streak.

In fairness the task will be more difficult without robin. Generally you just sit back and try to capture everything he blurts out after a couple of post-match drinks - generally directed at Graham (payback for cricket season?).

These are the rules I have lived by for seasons. New blood required for sure. Any suggestions? Me thinks Jason and Ben B are definite contenders.

19 comments:

purely belter said...

Likewise with match reports,
someone else is welcome to take over those duties for the season.

no evil streak required

005 said...

No way, you are best match report writer ever. Right man for the job and all that.

Rauru said...

Can I give a "HELL NO" to the people at the top not having to pay their fines. That's just issuing empty threats. Everyone should have o pay their fines, maybe we should just be a bit more reasonable about the fines and only fine fine-worthy events. Wearing blue boots deserves one fine, but probably only one (although Rob should always get a uniform fine for the shorts). Fines should be restricted to the stupid and funny. Paddy being fined for trying to create a passing Stallions team should not be fined. Paddy trying to create a passing Stallions team by back passing to Ben Brooks should be.

005 said...

Random - Paddy being fined for trying to create a passing Stallions team is one of the greatest fines ever!

I would also always fine blue boots over long shorts.

The big one is always missed shots - ie - any attempt aimed at the goal. Strikers can (and probably rightly should) rack up $5-6 a game. Eliminating/lessening that would also reduce the traditional gulf in fines between strikers and defenders. But surely it can't be eliminated entirely ...

StevieG said...

I'd be happy to job share...but couldn't trust myself with the money!

Rauru said...

If attackers are getting fined for every shot they miss, then defenders should get fined for every shot that is taken by the opposition team. Ridiculous fine really. Sitters that are missed should be fined, but not every shot. We want to encourage shooting, not fine for it.

Ben Hodges said...

Exactly - you have just saved me $20 Rauru.

I have been arguing that exact point ever since you went off overseas

005 said...

On the other hand, there is something brilliant in a striker taking the ball in his own half beating 5 players, curling a magic shot into the top left corner only to be brilliantly saved by the keeper - and then getting fined!

And no Ben H, I ain't talking about you! Even if we remove this fine you have to be odds on to be most fined through the season!

I agree, dud shots only to be fined. It will also stop the inevitable fine session bs of the forwards: 'i only had 3 shots today' - ahh - no. No shots from strikers & midfielders definitely still needs to be fined!

Anonymous said...

I think the reason we started fining strikers for missed shots was because they were hardly getting fined for anything. Frustrating for everyone in those games where the strikers got delivered great ball, missed shots, and didn't get fined much.

Ben Hodges said...

lol the stallions are so dysfunctional - such a beautifl team spirit

Rauru said...

Hmmm, anonymous huh? Sounds like a whiny midfielder/defender who wishes he could have the pace, guile and skill of a striker.

005 said...

Its blatantly Ben B, who at least is taking his new job share role as finemaster with jason in a thoughtful and serious manner.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking Jason could be the enforcer and I could take the role of Machiavelli

005 said...

Just like when you two were the centre back pairing huh? There will be a ceremonial handing over of the fine book on Saturday.

energy24.7 said...

Pre-season odds for most fined:
Player Odds
Aaron $1.19
Gus $1.20
Hodges $1.20
Rauru $1.30
Paddy $1.40
Tangi $1.50
Graham $1.60
Joe $1.70
Tristin $1.80
Mike $1.90
Nick W $2.00
Jason $2.50
Ben B $2.50
Lloyd $3.00
Corey $5.00
Panda $5.00
Spencer $10.00

Aaron the early favourite, with expected back lash after all those years he was fine master.
Gus and Hodges to back up last seasons form (although Gus may be relieved a bit with Aaron stepping down).
And Rauru straight near the top - flashy, opinionated captain - sure way to get yourself fined.

Spencer very long odds - too quiet, and nice to get pinged.

So, place your bets, let's see how the odds change...

005 said...

Backlash! I was a gentle finemaster (Gus and Ben H excluded). If I wasn't holding back you would have been up to $200 last season.

I do think the Walker brothers will be up there somewhere - and history supports that view.

Perhaps we need some Spencer-orientated fines. How many seasons can pass by with him at the bottom of the list. Any suggestions?

All heil the reign of the kindly new finemasters.

Anonymous said...

I'm particularly looking forward to the return of the Albatross fine. Its been too long.

Rauru said...

Ah yes, the Albatross. What are the odds of seeing it in the first game? Pretty short I'd imagine. All depends on the ref...

Jamie said...

I cant belive I haven't made the list, I will be coming along whenever I can to show support