Heard on the sidelines #719

"Watch your f$!#en mouth you f$@&en cat!" The referee lays down the law.

At least I think he said "cat", I can't remember. It definitely started with a 'c'...

Uni Stallions Vs Marist inter 30th July 2011

Uni Stallions and Marist Inter turned up to play football on a beautiful winters day.
On a Nairnville pitch that was in really good shape, considering it was the middle of winter.Having had 5 days of sunshine & wind to dry it out. it wasn't the best, but it had to do.
Both teams looked to play flowing football in an even game over the entire 90 minutes.The two teams huffed and puffed their way round the field, if there was a rule that we could put a goal on top of a goal we'd have scored 3 they'd have got 2 in the end no one could find the back of the net the game ending 0-0.

Ponies Galore

So not an eventful game in terms of goals scored, but plenty of pony worthy moments. Much discussion and laughter at the pub - none of the candidates there to defend themselves. It broke down a little like this:

Pony option 1:

Robin - think back a couple of seasons ago to the team's resident 'anti-footballer' - 3/4 length shorts, polyprops, a little mascara - this was a fashionable dandy who refused to look like a footballer. So imagine our surprise yesterday when Rob shows up with new boots (with fluro elements?) but most importantly - SKINS! Unbelievable - especially for a player who has fought uniform fines with pride for seasons. Spencer, whose skins have not been seen for ages and either packed away at the back of the closet or have been ritualistically sacrificed was seen to smile a little, knowing the abuse coming Rob's way.

Perhaps this wouldn't have been a problem if Skins promise to significantly improve performance proved true, probably not true in this case. They did seem to make Robin angry though and he seemed to spend most of the game yelling at other Skins-less Stallions.

Pony Option 2:

Six Second Corey - will go down as the only Div 6 ref to blow against a goalkeeper for the six second rule - even Tang would think, Damn, that guy's a stickler for the rules! Now the merits of the call were debated - most agree it was a good call, most extreme in the other direction was Dan who claimed to want to kick the freekick out (or did he just say that after it sailed wide?). It was less the call than Corey's defense of his right to make the call that make this pony worthy - never has a ref sworn quite as much and as loudly as this. None of those kids playing on the turf would have slept yet. One of those moments verging on the edge of being both stallion worthy and pony worthy.

Pony Option 3:

Joe's hammy has taken a while to recover, and man is he frustrated. After announcing his return this week, he goes for a gentle Friday evening jog to test it, and what happens - he rolls an ankle and can't play.  Unbelievably unlucky, but very, very pony-worthy. Someone was heard to mention 'Oh well, at least we managed to keep a clean sheet' - but that's just harsh so I ain't going to mention who said that.

Honourable mentions (what a crazy, crazy game):

• Mike pulling a hammy getting out of bed
• Logan been hit by a sniper on the grassy knoll - it wasn't an Achilles or Hammy as most often happens, but a headshot. After minutes of head grabbing, arms flailing, rolling around on his back, Logan calmly insisted that he didn't want to sub off.
• Logan wrestling the ball on the ground and then some reason thinking he was awarded the freekick, passing to himself and dribbling away.
• Logan having a big night, hung over, missed rides, had to have Dan turn away on the gorge to pick him up.

Put like that Logan might have got off lucky. In the end it was decided that Joe is clearly most deserving of the pony (for a start what Stallion has ever gone for a Friday night run?), but since we want a match report, it needs to pass to Corey. Possibly everybody was too scared of 'Don't make me angry, you won't like me when I'm angry' Skins Robin.

And in more positive news the backs were rewarded for a huge game. I forget who got Stallion - either Jason's flying header or Tangihaere's season saving goalline clearance. Big games both - also reflected in the mvps:
3 - Jason
2 - Tangihaere
1 - Rauru

Until next week ...

Missed opportunity...again

CAPITAL 6:
Uni Stallions 0 Marist Inter 0
North Wgtn Villa 1 Brooklyn Northern 0
Wainui Undertakers 4 Lower Hutt Sangham 1
Petone Chicago 1 North Wellington 3
Miramar Rangers 3 Uni Accies 5
P W D L GF GA Pts
Uni Accies 14 9 1 4 41 29 28
Petone Chicago 14 7 3 4 35 20 24
Uni Stallions 14 6 5 3 25 18 23
Brooklyn Northern 14 7 1 6 29 28 22
Lower Hutt Sangham 14 6 3 5 28 31 21
North Wellington 14 5 4 5 28 27 19
North Wgtn Villa 14 5 3 6 27 23 18
Miramar Rangers 13 4 3 6 35 42 15
Wainui Undertakers 14 5 0 9 21 36 15
Marist Inter 13 3 1 9 32 47 10

The wheels seem to be falling off Petone yet we are helping them out no end by dropping points as well. Seems like all the teams in the top half are struggling against teams in the bottom half, except for the Accies. Good to know that promotion is still there for us.

In news in other grades, the Raiders have been promoted as well from Div 7 so they will be in Div 6 next season, along with the unbeaten Wests team. Question is, will we be there playing them or will we be in Div 5?

Game on!

Cancellations are out. We are still on and the game before ours on Nairnville 1 has been cancelled. Sounds depressingly similar to last week....

Boring Fantasy vs Exciting Fantasy

Another game with minimal fantasy fun (except for Lloyd, who has had consecutive full bp hauls - first time that has happened this season - shines when no-one else does, well not counting his daughters ...)

Didn't play of course, so am just basing these points on the blog and what i heard, tell me if I'm wrong:

Brooklyn
Paul	2 (+60)	2
Jason	2 (+60)	2
Tangihaere	2 (+60), 2bps	4
Corey	2 (+60)	2
Graham	2 (+60)	2
Lloyd	2 (+60), 3bps	5
Robin	2 (+60)	2
Logan	2 (+60)	2
Panda	2 (+60), 1bp	3
Rauru	2 (+60), 3 (1 assist)	5
Tristin	2 (+60), 4 (1 goal)	6

 The hole is where mike was, but since there are no stories of mega-chops I guess he didn't play.

Now, as I have slipped further down the fantasy table after a blistering start, I get to continue total domination in the EPL Fantasy Football - you have heard the story, 2 times, back to back Stallions champion, last season topped the Yellow Fever league - I'm a fully fledged f**en irresistable force. We need new meat, so sign up for the season and get amongst - http://fantasy.premierleague.com/ . We have a few people in this team who rate their football brain, come on and bring it to the table.

This is how it will go:
I will get off to a flyer, everyone will complain that I have too much time on my hands to tinker with my team (probably true), Rauru will fail due to blind faith to the redshite, Lachlan will just make stupid calls - the gambler in him always looking for the next Blackpool star, Jason's a visionary and will make some great calls, but won't be able to do it week to week and yoyo up and down the table, Goodall will make all his selections drunk at 3am to no success (just like his dancing at that time of the night), Gus and Corey will just be crap, and as they drift down the table will claim to have lost interest and not look at the game anymore - as if you get kudos for quitting when you are losing. End of story - I will be triumphant again, unless someone else with half a brain signs up. Do it - a good way to kep the banter up during the off season - though last season the rest of these chumps shut up pretty quick.

Damn good fun.

Once you sign up the Stallions league code is - 90859-32396

One player who might get more ponies than G-Mann