A Pony Scorned

Photo: It took all Rauru's might not to throw an Albatross

As I sit here, looking at the pony sitting at the table, I can’t help but fell fired up. Prepare to feel the wrath of a Pony Scorned.

For those out of the loop, the crime for my award? Not kicking out at a player who held my leg after I dived on a ball that had been played from dummy half from the opposition team. Apparently my lack of agro warranted a pony moment. While I lay there on the ground, with my leg being held by the opposition I consciously thought whether or not I should lash out. For those who know me from the Soccer Stallions you would expect I probably would have kicked the leg, but in my new role as a captain who tries to lead from the front I decided against costing my team a possible penalty, even if it meant a possible 12 on 8 brawl in our favour.

As such it was decided by an almost unanimous decision that I be awarded pony. As I have learnt from soccer and cricket Stallions, when awarded the pony, you suck it up, wear the headband with proud, and carve it up in the following week. All of which I intend to do.

But hear this. If any of you fuckers from the London Touch Stallions don't bring an A+ game to the table next week, the fine master (i.e. me) will be fining your ass big time. And don't expect P.C teacher Mr Walker on the field either. I’ll be going hard, and screaming at you cunts who don't step up. You have had your warning.

Yours truly,
Pony.

P.S. Yes this email is all in jest, but honestly, enough of the bitching on the field, let your game do the talking. Till next Thursday...

2 Triumphant Returns

The Stallions welcome the return of 2 of their finest this weekend - Nick W who has not been seen since round 1, and Joe who has been gone since round 3. I'm sure our rise to the top bit of the table has nothing to do with your absence, and your valuable presence both on and off the field is just what we need heading into the second round.

Any predictions for this weekend about this two? Will Nick finally manage to score and do one of his cartwheelie, handspring celebrations (Man, its been a while)? How many players will Joe beat - in all senses of the word! Welcome back. I've heard that Nick has grown a little thin European moustache.

Also Spencer is back - it hasn't been as long - but it feels like we have hardly seen you this season. Lets not forget last time you played you got the Stallion - high expectations ...

Talking about high expectations ... We all know Stop Out are going to cast anxious glances about hoping that our 'legend' keeper does a no-show. Ben, you dined out on your performance and the respect of this other team for a while, we will expect nothing less than a repeat tomorrow - I would hate to be you if you have a shocker vs Stop Out on the day when the whole team gets together for fining - could be nasty.

A full, good squad (not including Jamie) for this first time this season - let's do some damage.

Picture: Nick makes his way to the game, via the pattissere.

From the mailbag ...

A suggestion that we set up a Euro2008 pools/fantasy comp for the stallions with a sweet cash prize? if all got involved we could possibly take $10 out of everyone's fines as entry fee? A team building exercise of sorts ...

Nice idea - but I'm thinking it may be too late and difficult to organise (kick off this weekend?), and there are plenty of fantasy comps floating around. But if someone who already spent less time on the computer than I was keen for some organising ...

Go Romania.

Photo: I have been saving this one for a Butchard post, but there are always plenty of pictures of terrible tackles.

And this week's Stallion is ...

Ben H ... another huge game in the middle of the park (well, often not in the middle ...) However, while the Fine committee were unanimous in awarding Ben the Stallion, he had too many indiscretions to take out the full MVP points/Stallion combo. I'm talking the whimpy dive/holding his back in the box, oh yeah - and when he laid off a beautiful ball to one of Karori's midfielders on the edge of the box, who then flicked it across for the equaliser. Apart from that (and about 7 other fines) it was a great day out.

Pony went to Gus for a range of indiscretions, including: promising a big game after 2 weeks absence, showing up late and hungover, putting in a late and hungover performance, getting hungover by drinking radlers, and being shit compared to Robin. Everyone is keen to see how the headband matches red hair. If its funny that has to be a fine. If its not very funny that must be a fine.

The rest of the session went a little like this:

MVP:
3 - Paddy
2 - Aaron
1 - Ben H

Best fines (well, beyond those of Gus and Ben):
- Corey - That huge airshot - a thing of beauty
- Mike B to Nick who has told him to harden up and prepare to come back on after injury: 'I'm not a wuss. I know when I'm injured'. Nick abuse. Not quite as bad as Tristin pretending not to hear him a few weeks back.
- Graham - ' the touch of the Rhino.'
- Graham - nakedness, and not learning from past nakedness fines.
- Nick G - Getting called out and spoken to by Steve. Twice.
- Nick G - being laughed at by opposition supporters.
- Paddy - family leaving straight after kickoff, returning just before the finish.
- Ben H - big head, no direction.
- Jamie - lack of video evidence.

Here are some tables. We have been very quiet on the paying of fines this season. Better step it up, or else there are going to be some BIG end of season accounts.

Welcome, new visitors to the Stallions blog ...

From Bulgaria, Turkey and South Africa (the last 2 came through just today). The world must have heard about Paddy's terrible dive on Saturday ...

U.S 1 v 1 W/S Karori Sealords 12.30pm Benburn Park Karori

Yesterdays draw felt almost like a loss,more so for the fact we led for most of the game.
While the opposition will be claiming, it was they who finished the stronger, thus deserved the win. (pfft jog on young In's)

Transferred from Nairnville park to Ben burn park Karori,it was established early that once again, the Stallions would struggle for numbers on the field.
Only once this season have the Stallions had more than one sub to choose from.

This week would prove no different,with the long weekend and several players away on respective holidays ,the Stallions took the field with no subs,but that changed Gus played the better late than never card and arrived as the whistle was blown for the start of the first half.

With the Stallions kicking off,both sides looked to play attacking football and establish early dominance,playing a lot more ball to feet football this week, the Stallions made the best of the early opportunities given to them,some neat passing through the left found Graham out on the left wing with enough time to send a ball into the box,the ensuing melee for the ball as it bobbled around somehow fell into Aaron's lap and he duly slotted the ball into the back of the net 1-0 to the stallions after 20 minutes.
With the Sealords unhappy with how they'd let themselves go 1-0 down,they restarted the game and went for it, hoping to catch the stallions out,moving the ball in through the middle and out wide hoping to split the defence,while setting up their strikers in the box,they did manage at times to really test us but most shots were from well outside the 18 yard box and Brooks had most of them covered.
With the game starting to light up the Stallions had their chances too,Rob firing a shot from the best part of 25 yards only to see it go wide of the left post.
The Sealords tried to mount an attack down the right hand side Mike B was on hand to send the ball out of play but unfortunately for him and the team it would be his last involvement in the game,as he left the field with a pulled hamstring,the Stallions now set to play the rest of the game with no subs.
With both sides having a real go at each others goals the Stallions went into the half time turn around with a 1-0 lead.

The 2nd half kicked off with the Sealords trying to pick up where they left off in the first half and with a few changes at half time,some fresh legs were going to give them the edge over the next 45 minutes.
The Sealords continued to press forward and attack both through the middle and out wide,with the stallions doing well,especially the central midfield of Paddy and Ben H who were both having great games,keeping the sealords chances limited in the centre of the park and away from our goal box, the sealords best chances coming from corners, though the Stallions were generally on hand to get the ball away from danger.
we too had some good attacking moments a few forays forward that we were unlucky to finish off with a few shots wide and over the bar.

The equalising goal came after a mix up about 20 yards out to the left of the Stallions goal.A miss timed pass had the Sealords capitalising and a cross into the box was met with a head of a karori player sandwiched between three stallions, the ball neatly put in the net to give the sealords a lifeline 1-1 with about 20 -25 mins to go.
The game began to really open up down the flanks and both sides were eager to grab the winning goal,neither side willing to let the other score as the game went on a few chances went begging but the game was to end all tied up at 1-1.

Stallions team Ben B,Mike B,Nick,Jason,Corey,Graham,Ben H,Patrick,Aaron,Rob,Panda,Gus

Goals Aaron 25mins
Sealords 65 mins

next week Stop Out at Trafalgar park 2.30pm

What's In a Name?

I've been interested in anagrams ever since I discovered that one of my best friends could re-arrange the letters of her name to spell "Shat Anus". I decided to find out whether any of the Stallions' names were hiding something just as embarrassing, or concealing something that in some way reflected their footballing abilities. The results were uncanny, and very illuminating.

It turns out that Aaron Lister is one of those 'ornate liars' who twist the truth to suit themselves. Actually, this one wasn't a big shock - we all knew this anyway.

Patrick Sawyer was certainly involved in 'a wasp trickery' today when he fell over in a clean tackle, waited for the whistle, then picked up the ball with a grin. Further evidence that anagrams don't lie.

We all know that Gus was hung over during the game today, but it's better than being a "sober knob" like Ben Brooks.

Finally, the fact that Tangi Walker has been flying under the radar, too scared to reveal himself on the Stallions blog, leads me to the conclusion that he is in fact a 'rat weakling', and the letters of his name agree.

Team names don't lie either. Today we proved that the Stallions were 'still on as'. The Sealords, being above us on the table, will have felt like a 'sad loser' after drawing with us today.

Go, o stolid snarl-up! (proud Stallions)