Brooklyn 7: Stallions 2

No official announcement on Pony has been made, but sometimes things are just so obvious they don't need saying.  Responsible for three goals and could have done better with two more - such are the margins between a trousers-down thrashing and close game between fairly evenly-matched teams.

Conditions were atrocious, but a howling cross-wind didn't favour either team in any given half.  You'd be forgiven for thinking otherwise by the scoreline.  Games started fairly low-key with both teams sharing territory and possession.  Brooklyn won a free-kick just outside our box after one of their players went down under a combination Jason/Corey challenge.  The free-kick was fairly well hit, but my feeble effort to stop it made it look like Riise v Barthez circa 2001.  1:0.

Stallions responded with some real spirit.  A concerted spell of pressure resulted in a cross being turned behind a Brooklyn defender.  Those with a clear view say he didn't get his hand anywhere near it, but the ref had no hesitation in pointing to the spot (although he then seemed to have considerable hesitation about whether he'd made the right call). Rauru showed no mercy, banging the penalty low to the left.  That wasn't the end of it though, Tom appeared to have forgotten that Rauru never misses pens and had encroached looking for a rebound.  Second time around was an action replay - ball in the same spot, keeper going the wrong way - 1:1.

No sooner had we got back in it, I popped up for clanger #2 - letting a cross evade me to one of their players on the back post to slot it past me and nuts Tangihaere on the line just for good measure.  2:1.  Sadly the third wasn't long in coming.  Brooklyn broke down their left.  The ball-carrier attracted all our defenders, so when he slipped a square ball there was one of his team mates just inside the box with seemingly acres of space around him.   Rattled, we went on to concede a 4th pretty promptly too.  A ball over the top eluded the defence and (for a change) I was on my heels.  Was he offside?  No matter, I did my best open door impression and the ball nestled in the net.

And that wasn't even it for the half.  When their striker got the ball with his back to goal 20 yards out there didn't look to be much danger.  Three twists and turns and a thumping shot inside the post proved that looks can be deceiving.  5:1 on the stroke of halftime.  I'm probably doing our attacking threat a disservice here, but I can't really remember us troubling their keeper much after the pen.  Maybe the second half would be better...

Well, we'll never know.  The first 10 minutes or so of the second half were much like the first - fairly even.  Then came a lobbed pass over the top.  An easy take and I was already thinking about how a quick counter could be launched.  What's that?  I've missed the ball completely and now the striker behind me is poking the ball into an empty net?  Sh!t.  In hindsight, I'm not sure if it was that or the hat-throwing strop that followed that was most Pony-worthy.  Either way, comedy goalkeeping has a new benchmark. 

By now the game had taken on the air of a foregone conclusion and neither team could quite rouse themselves to change that.  Rauru had one cleared off the line, someone managed to clear the back fence with an effort, Paddy found the net with another, although it was ruled out for it being an indirect free-kick (despite it looking suspiciously like a foul and the ref not having his hand up).  We even got one back - well played that man (who was easily one of our better players on the day).  Brooklyn, however, weren't happy with us being within four of them and banged in one more just for fun.

Ultimately, it was one of those games best forgotten.  Almost funny that on another day it could have been so different.  We certainly needn't be worried about round two with those guys.  Back at the clubrooms, it was decided that no MVP points could realistically be given, so that's one chore off Aaron's list for the week.  Not even Stallion was football-related - congratulations Graham for a sterling effort as barman. 

Game Day Match Review

No match review from the other week as there was no official Pony awarded, but since I was the only option mooted here goes...

It rained.  Hard.  It was cold.  Very.  I scored.  Again ;).  Paddy got the assist.  Again.  Lloyd did a 920.  And still had the ball.  The had young fuckers.  Who were lippy.  I fell over.  Someone blew on me.  Didn't throw an albatross (or did I?).  They scored.  Damn it.  Final whistle.  Their coach celebrated like they had won (and actually said "That's as good as a win for me boys").

Another game similar to Wainui.  Not really a lot happened and left feeling a bit deflated having given up points to the bottom of the table.  They were a good team though and placed some good football, always trying to construct from the back.  In hindsight we should have pressed them harder in midfield as their strikers weren't that dangerous and our defenders had them covered.  Bring on this avos game.  It's damn cold (again) but we need to get the win against what seems like a good team.

Another day, another draw

Against the lowest team in the grade.  Not good enough, but we obviously didn't cope to well in those atrocious conditions. Joe, Tom - you got off lightly!

Great goal though - one for the ages - pin point cross from Paddy, great header from Rauru. One for the best of the season?

I would imagine Stallion would probably have to come out of that. Any other nominations?

As for pony, I am still howling with laughter at Rauru dropping to the ground head in hands as though he had been punched in the face. Hollywoood. One to add to this reel:

Any other nominations? And some MVPS please - haven't done the fantasy tally for a bit (often happens when I get 2 point games), but will once we sort these.

Uni Stallions 1 Vs 1 North Wellingtin Clarets Wakefied pk#2 02.06.2012 7.30pm

If it wasn't for me we could have had all three (points). if we had a striker who could score we could have won by four (goals). but alas you see it wasn't to be, after 90 minutes of football a bore draw had we.
Their midfield was good but ours was better, Lloyd always solid Paddy is quite clever.
Our Defenders ran themselves into the ground with Tangi barking orders they were the best back 4 around
so now ends my little ditty if you didn't get a mention please don't get ...

So umm we scored when their goalie cleared the ball out to tom ? and left an open goal for him to bang the ball into.
They scored after the shot i initially saved  rolled under my body and dribbled into the net about the only way they looked like scoring if i'm honest

Stallions(Tom or paddy ? 25mins) 1 - 1 North Wellington Clarets(some bugger or is it an oggie? 75mins)

Draw

Hey, we played well against a good team with a couple of real skilful and fast players. Feels like we dropped points but it was a good effort. Still sitting in mid table at 5th, the 2 games vs Brooklyn will be a big factor in where we end up.

And backing it up on Wed night (so Gus, you are playing again today, that is going to make it 3 games in 6 days -what a nice warm up for Euro). And saying that those of you in the Euro fantasy comp have a couple of hours this  morning to make your player bids. If it seems confusing don't worry - even a fantasy king of the world such as myself doesn't really know what the hell is going on.

Back to the Stallions. Unfortunately there was only really 1 pony moment of mention. Sorry Corey, but that match report is coming from you. It was real tough and you had a great game apart from that moment. Fark  - I'm sure we all felt for you.

Right, we need some mvps before Wed. Nominate here - for me have to be Tangihaere for 3, a huge game (as always). Jason stood out too, especially in that first half. I guess its hard to award much up front where we struggled to make much and got a fortuitous (if brilliantly struck) goal - but I though Ropbin played well, charging around up there. Spoiled slightly by that attempt to get that guy handballed for just stopping it from going over the sideline. Am I recalling correctly that Butch then put it down for the freekick? Stallions, keeping it classy.

The Ginger Diver

In typical stallions fashion 3 people at the ground with only 20 minutes til kick off assessed the turf as soft.  Gradually trickling in the boys looked amped (at  1 mW – roughly the power of a small hearing aid) and ready for the game.

With pony geared up with a lovely offwhite, freedom fighter graced sweatband and matching arm band, Panda finally abandoning the mystery van’s heater, we took the field. What a motley looking crew indeed. A few blasts over the post, while the central midfield practised their pinpoint passing and suddenly Fidel had blown the whistle much to both his, and our, surprise.

Justin Bieber and his BFF made a slick passing move straight through the advancing midfielders, with aplomb. A sign of things to come, it came to nothing – mopped up easily with excellent positional play, great communication and a gargantuan game by the back line.

Although slick passing the norm, fortunately for the stallions, their final pass was absent to say the least. A few shots from outside the box either went well over the top, were deflected by defenders, or in the case of Paul ‘the cat’ Kilford saved brilliantly.

A good ole fashioned tug o war ensued with pressing runs going in both directions.  Until Tangihaere let Beiber go around him, only the once and for half a step further bringing him down with a delicate sledge hammer swing around the ankles. Penalty Miramar. 1-0.

Heads not down at all, the stallions were able to answer almost straight away, Rauru opened up his account early with a well finished goal, followed by another, then some other blokes scored, before Rauru  was able to get both the hat trick and his fourth goal.

Unfortunately for this writer, with so many goals coming from Rauru’s boot, (and god forbid, his head) they have all become a blur. Not mention the concussion received when this writer was viciously shoulder charged by a 6foot 3(around the middle) angry Irishman, who moments before had stopped Lloyds’s  second attempt this year to set a record 810° turn, with a wildly inaccurate swinging arm.

Booked for the first and second infringement, he was asked to leave the field. This started a tirade of misdirected childlike insults regarding the colour of a certain attacking midfielder’s hair (yes I do have red hair, thanks for noticing, but I can dye it – you, me old china plate, will always be a tosser), and his sexual orientation (there was a fair amount of crying in the loo this week over that one). Insults, seemingly having no effect, meant the tackles became harder and more illegal (Bieber and his BFF were seen holding hands discussing the best way to take out old ginge) in complete disrespect for the game.  

Nonetheless there were hand shakes after the game and promises to ‘get me’ never materialised, though I bet Miramar will be looking forward to the return fixture with relish.

Never let the truth (or details) get in the way of a story I say. 

For posterity you may comment on what actually happened. (Goals only - the sending off occurred exactly as written here, apart from some theatrics that had no impact on the sending off whatsoever -he really hurt my head, and the so-called smile was a grimmace)

Rauru, Fergie stole our Stallion/pony celebration!

Stolen from the VUWAFC facebook page: