STOP THE MADNESS!!!

What started as an innocent points table posting, ended in this.  Good one Corey.

To stop any confusion from the below post, we have one game left (thank you Tom for pointing out the bleeding obvious to those, like Graham, who would rather write his doctorate thesis on the current standing in division 6 capital football).  The fact that there are 7 comments on that post already suggests that a) people are really keen for more football, and b) are really keen to hear about how I smacked the ball into the only nose within 10m of an empty net on Saturday and then followed that up by attempting to miss a penalty (note, for those of you not there, I said ‘attempted’ to miss the penalty).

Here is the correct table:

Ladder After Round 18

POS		TEAM	P	W	D	L	F	A	GD	PTS
1		Western Suburbs	17	15	1	1	103	33	70	46
2		Victoria University Raiders	17	10	2	5	44	39	5	32
3		Miramar Rangers	17	9	3	5	61	48	13	30
4		Lower Hutt City Green Machine	16	9	1	6	42	51	-9	28
5		Marist Inter	17	6	3	8	40	48	-8	21
6		Victoria University Stallions	17	6	2	9	46	51	-5	20
7		Brooklyn Northern United Pilsner	16	6	2	8	37	48	-11	20
8		Wainui Undertakers	16	4	4	8	36	42	-6	16
9		North Wellington Clarets	16	4	2	10	28	49	-21	14
10		North Wellington Lions	17	3	2	12	30	58	-28	11

So as you can see, we are 4 points clear of Wainui and 6 clear of Clarets who both have a game in hand over us.  Luckily for us, that game is against each other.  Wainui's other game is against Wests with the Clarets against Raiders.  I don't see any way that Wainui or Clarets will win those games unless Clarets stack their team to avoid relegation - something that I wouldn't put past them.  

Either way, if Clarets take 6 points the most Wainui can take is 3 meaning we're safe.  If Wainui take 6 points Clarets can only take 3 meaning we're safe.  If Wainui and Clarets both take 4 points (win and draw each) we're safe.  So no matter which way you look at it we're safe!

So the question is this.  Do we go out against BNU and seek revenge for getting smashed by them last time?  They haven't won a game since they beat us, and are 29-9 goals for and against since then including shipping in 12 against Wests, and losses to Marist and the Lions.  They just lost to Raiders in what sounded like a close game but other than that they have been dealt to.  Odd.  So do we play as per normal and try and get the win and finish above them and hopefully Marist (they have the Lions in their last game), or do we do the traditional (at least since last season) Stallions end-of-year-nothing-to-lose-ol-switch-a-roo.  I'd be pretty keen to have half a game in goal and half a game as an attacking sweeper, and I bet Tangihaere, Jason, Joe, Spencer, Mike and whoever else hasn't scored would love an opportunity to get their name on the score sheet (remember the days when Spencer hit side foot volleys into the top corner of the net?).

Aaron, can you out a poll up on it, and people can post comments below.  Also Aaron, can you change the worst miss of the season?  There's a glaring omission from two weeks ago (as well as mine from last week?).

The ladder with three games to go

Ladder After Round 16

POS		TEAM	P	W	D	L	F	A	GD	PTS
1		Western Suburbs	15	13	1	1	94	29	65	40
2		Lower Hutt City Green Machine	15	9	1	5	40	47	-7	28
3		Victoria University Raiders	15	8	2	5	39	37	2	26
4		Miramar Rangers	15	7	3	5	50	45	5	24
5		Marist Inter	15	6	3	6	37	43	-6	21
6		Victoria University Stallions	15	5	2	8	39	46	-7	17
7		Brooklyn Northern United Pilsner	15	5	2	8	35	48	-13	17
8		Wainui Undertakers	15	4	4	7	36	40	-4	16
9		North Wellington Clarets	15	4	2	9	26	43	-17	14
10		North Wellington Lions	15	3	2	10	27	45	-18	11

Fantasy vs GP and Lower Hutt

Wests
Paul	60+, 3 (9 saves), 3bps, 5 (saved pen)-2 (4 goals)	11
Tangihaere	60+, -2 (4 goals)	0
Corey	60+, -2 (4 goals), 6 (defender goal)	6
Mike B	60+, -2 (4 goals)	0
Spencer	60+, -2 (4 goals)	0
Joe	60+, -2 (4 goals)	0
Aaron	60+	2
Lloyd	60+, 2bps	4
Robin	60+	2
Tom	60+	2
Logan	60+, 6 (2 assists)	8
Rauru	60+, 4 (goal)	6
L Hutt
Paul	60+, -2  (2 goal loss)	1
Tangihaere	60+, -2  (2 goal loss), 3bps	4
Jason	60+, -2  (2 goal loss)	1
Mike B	60+, -2  (2 goal loss)	1
Graham	60+, -2  (2 goal loss)	1
Joe	60+	2
Aaron	60+, mf goal (5), 1bp	8
Lloyd	60+, 2bp	4
Panda	60+	2
Tom	60+, -1 (yellow)	1
Logan	60-	1
Rauru	60+,  3 (ASSIST)	5
Spencer	60+	2
TOTALS - TOP 5
Rauru	117
Lloyd	63
Aaron	59
Logan	57
Paddy	52

Stallions Show No Respect

20 July 2012 (Endeavour Park) Western Suburbs division six side was left feeling empty on Saturday, after a fine football display from the visiting University Stallions kept the goal difference in the game to a mere +3 goals.    After the match GP , striker for Wests, was fuming.  "They've got no respect.  I'm the best player in the country and I just happen to play in Capital Division 6.''

Signs were pretty good for Wests from the kick off, passing the ball around comfortably at the back with the Stallions holding back.  Things weren't looking to bad for the Stallions although posession was rare, and was given up too cheaply at times.  Soon enough the Stallions found themselves 1-0 down after turning the ball over in a bad position - he was  big guy and it was a good header.

Things almost got a lot worse for the Stallions after Joe, superbly tracking his man into the box, brushed (if you ask Joe) or axed (if you ask the referee) the biggest man on the park on the goal line  Penalty.  Come the hour and upstepped the man who has a mortgage on  Stallion moments this season.  Not only did the get a hand to the penalty and push it away, but he also stood up and deflected the follow up shot off the crossbar and out.  Kilford was also heard after the match praising his lucky cap - "God if it wasn't for my cap getting in the way of that second shot, the ball would have skidded off my greasy dome into the back of the net..."

Bouyed by a Stallion moment the Stallions did look for an equaliser and came up with a couple of chances, but were denied by the woodwork and lack of finishing talent (by yours truly).

Wests struck back though with two great strikes - one cross that sailed over everyone to land exactly in the corner of the net and another half volley which was powered in.  Nothing much the Stallions could have done about either of those, but to admit that Wests had some classy players.

The Stallions hard graft was soon rewarded though, Gus tangled his feet with a Wests defender and in the spirit of consistency the ref awarded a penalty.

Good pen Rauru.  Not only did was it put away nicely but the shrugging off the Wests banter before the pen was also admirable.

Things were looking up.  For about a minute.  In true Stallions style the ball was turned over on the break, Wests got it out wide and cross was fired in missing everone expect the man strutting about at the far post who tapped it in.

But the Stallions were not yet done for the first half.  After earning a corner Glen put in a superb ball which needed to be deal with by the Wests defence who scrambled it out for another corner.  Glen again put in a magnificent ball and after a goal mouth mellee of some proportion, the mighty Cory managed to squeak the ball into the net, and announced to all and sundry "about f*cking time too".

4-2 half time and not a bad effort all things considered.

The second half was not nearly as exciting.  Only one goal in it (or two if you ask Wests - not sure where they got the last one from), a lot of banter with GP who must have been bullied at school, and a few tired Stallions.

The only other incident really to mention is the reason why this report is being written, and less said about that the better except that it was a complete and utter muff of chip, and an absolute pony moment.  Should have taken the keeper on and "720'd" him as Gus suggested but for some reason the "impossible chip from 25 yards into the top right hand corner" seemed a better option.  It would have been better if I actually got it off the ground.  Live and learn.  The only consolation is that I'm way next week so it will be  few weeks before I put in the pink head band. 

Finally -  I thought the defence toiled hard all day - Joe was tenacious as always and Butch stuck to his man like glue. I thought Glen and Tom both had good games out wide.  Paul had a lot to do and had a great game with lots of telling touches.  Well deserved Stallion.

Overall, even though the Stallions lost, it was still a good effort - if we have that sort on intensity against other opposition in our last few games, we should be home free...

5 or was it 6?

We thought 5, official result says 6 - don't really matter I guess.

What does matter is that Inter have jumped us. Some odd results - Raiders lose, Brooklyn lose.

Stallion - Paul - the double save off the pen, nice.
Pony - Lloyd - that atrocious 1-1 (yeah, that second one).

mvps:
3 - Paul
2 - Lloyd
1 - Tom

Scouting report

This from the Raiders from last week:

Raiders 3 - 8 Wests.
The scoreline wasn't reflective of a game where we got right up Wests' grill and were their equal for much of the match, especially that first half. They got 3 goals in the last 15 minutes to blow the scoreline out.
Anderson was wet and muddy but not as cut up as I thought it would be. We were all talking about a good start and we got it. I decided (personal decision) to absolutely clean one of their players out to let them know we had come to play... and did so about 5 minutes in. I slid for about 10 metres and went straight through their left winger. The ball was somewhere nearby...
Problem was, that brought me under the gaze of the 100-year-old-pants-up-to-his-chin ref, who had a Cap Footy official watching his performance. When I had a set-to with my opposite 10 mi...nutes later, got penalised, and then tried to take the ball away, I got yellowed. Even the Wests bloke thought it was harsh.
Jules put us up 1-0, with Miki, Iain and myself putting through balls for him and Andy T at will, around their pedestrian defence. It was working and Jules put us in the lead with a sweet finish. They equalised quickly but Iain made it 2-1 with a brilliant, curling shot from outside the 18.
We were well in this match, battling hard and nailing the Wests boys at will. They're a good outfit, no doubt, but the Raiders were right up on them quick and they knew it.
They made it 2-2 after 30 mins (I think I made a silly pass in the midfield) and then Wests scored twice before the break.
As I'm sure all their opponent have found this year, you lose the ball or go to sleep or don't get the ball off their wingers, and they make you pay.
That's what they did in the second spell. We had good periods, controlling the ball and passing very, very well despite the conditions, but every time we gave it away, Wests made us pay. Ethan and Karl had tough days in goal.
I really, really enjoyed the game, no matter what the score says. Covered in mud, wet through, knackered, massive bruise on foot and headache after taking a few hits from elbows - loved it! I thought that ref watched me like a hawk and a couple of their lads said plenty of calls went against me after the yellow card.
Miki and Iain were colossal in the centre, Jules and Andy gave their defence plenty to think about (Andy got the 3rd goal after great work from his partner in crime), while our defence worked bloody hard for 90 mins. A tough game against a top side in trying conditions.
Miramar have been playing well and will push us hard for that second spot in the table now. They are 2 points back after dusting BNU yesterday.
 

Like we found out when we played them, make a mistake at the back and you will concede.  Let's just fly into tackles (not like Tom though, that's just sick), especially on their cocky, up-himself, dick head striker Greg Parish (in case any future employers are Googling him, this is only what he's like on the football field.  I'm sure he's much worse off it).  Too much?

LH Green Machine 3, Stallions 1 - shit, shit and shitter

A lot of talk in the changing shed before the game (mainly to avoid the rain and mud), based around the Stallions insipid season - while we are playing ok football at times the spark has gone - and its simply not as much fun. We put this down to a few things - lack of results, playing a lot mid week which takes away the social side, very few pub sessions, waning interest in stallion/pony/fantasy/blog - where are all last season's tactical discussions, great goal celebrations (ironically we are scoring more goals, but celebrating  a lot less). Its all just getting a little serious and dull. Summed up for me in the way out - Butch talked about how he never would have got away with his new spiderman-themed compression pants before this season - but now we rarely even take the piss out of each other - how can I say anything - even if I did point and laugh at spiderman it would have been through gloves.


So, Plan A was to go out and God-damn wallow in the muddy glories of Nairnville Park, have some fun with it, remember why we are here. The sad faces and limping bodies of the Stallions coming off 1-nil down at half time suggested Plan A had failed.

The half started crazy pinball styles - the ball bouncing around, really open, neither team really able to control or assert dominance. Stallions had the best of the early exchanges - a couple OOPs doing well (thats out of position players for you non-fantasy clowns): Despite season upon season of begging, 'Welcome-Back Corey' thought his promotion to attacking mid/striker was a cruel joke, but no - a masterstroke as Corey linked play and held up the ball well, 'Chop em down Joe' played right midfield and put a couple of great balls into the box early on. We were doing ok.

And then their goal - and why I am writing this report. Simple corner, straight to my marker who beat me to the jump and pulled off an amazing /lucky header that somehow managed to loop above Giant Paul. 1-0, the game had changed. My pony status was not so much for conceding the goal, but for seconds before pointing to their 6'6, 120kg monster and saying 'Spence, that's your man, I'll take the little guy'. Karma.

The rest of the half was pretty much LH's - whose off the ball movement, passes into open space and width in attack offered everything we tried but couldn't do. Definitely one of those here we go again feelings.

In what can only be described as another masterstroke or perhaps as act of 'stop nagging, I don't give a f**k anymore', Rauru caved to let me play up front. The first 15 of the second half was probably our best  period - it felt like we had more attack and managed to get our central midfielders into attacking positions, and applied some pressure - leading to a nicely worked team goal with Rauru slipping me a final pass to score from close range. Reminded me a little bit of a goal I scored there in the mud 2 seasons ago where instead of receiving a pass from Rauru I intercepted a weak shot and tapped it in. Oh the bad old days when I was desperate for goals. That was a shit match too - we were 3-nil up at half time and lost 5-3 - Nairnville 2 not our fortress.

1-1 and it felt like we were on top and should win this thing. Well for about 2 minutes. They scored immediately - remind me if I'm wrong here - but I think this was one of two goals conceded off our attacking corners - our F**ken attacking corners! How does that happen? In both cases good attacking corners (Got to get that in there - oh except for that short one with Gus) that caused danger, were cleared and they managed to get to the other end and score. We should have 2 goals conceded tallies - one for goals conceded (which now for the first time this season equals the goals scored), but also goals conceded off breaks - perhaps the reality that we are now getting too old, slow, unfit for this game is coming to get us - maybe we need to transform ourselves into one of those wily old guy teams who play smartly rather than a deluded old guy team who try to play like they are 21?

The game increasingly turned to farce - especially with the referee's no slide rule which lead to some weird decisions - I was penalised for sliding to intercept a pass - no one was around, Joe got pinged for cleaning getting the ball - no danger at all, but then bad arse Tom was rightly given a yellow card for taking a guy out from behind and trying to break his legs - should have been a red. I can't believe that we have such nasty, reckless and pure evil players in the Stallions.

Amongst all of this horror there were some moments of hilarity. The opposition made a call, presumably in Hindi, which Panda enthusiatically translated 'They are playing a sweeper, they are playing a sweeper' - which he made sure everybody heard, but we were non-plussed - it was hardly going to change the way we played - but it sounded like Panda was warning us they were carrying a knife or something, Jason got a big old nuts, Rauru got in a bit of push and shove - and stopped playing, letting them take the ball away from him (I'm sure I saw Rauru kick out at the guy on the ground - but he insists I made that up), Graham did something that everyone laughed about in the pub but I forget, and then there was one of the most bizarre cameos ever witnessed in a football game - Logan came on for the last 20 but turned the whole thing into a circus - summed up when old clown shoes in their box made about 20 twists and turns, went here and there, but then gave the most gentle of pass backs to their keeper.

Soon the game was all over, and theres nothing as bad as taking down the nets in the rain and cold after a bad loss, especially with news filtering down the radio that Marist have won their second game this week putting them on equal points with us and raising the spectre of relegation again. We should be ok, but we are going to need another win and we only have teams left that beat us in round one to go, starting next week with all conquering Wests.


Despite the horror, we went back to the pub for a couple of drinks for the first time in ages - raised the spirits and a reminder of how we should be as a team. Notable that next to us were a much younger Uni Div 10 who played next to us (in our old strip no less), have won their grade, and were all back at the pub fining and getting rowdy. Our conversation was probably more intellectual and held some gems - including Graham observing that I looked like Inesita out there today, less because of control of games and a wild array of passing, than similar haircuts (hey i make jokes at your expense Graham!). Lots of talk about the upcoming EPL and general bullshitting. Good stuff, more please. I reckon this will translate to a huge win against Wests.

Pub gave us a chance to award some points - like the last few, no real star performances to talk through, but it broke down like this:

Stallion: Tangihaere - stirling play as always, saved the old bacon a few times 
Pony: Aaron - could have got out of it but just wanted to wear the headband once this season.

MVPs:
3 - Tangihaere
2 - Lloyd
1 - Aaron

To those of you who ain't done match reports the last 3 weeks, see that wasn't hard. Can't be arsed proofreading it or making sure if any sense is made. Done.

They even beat us in the match report writing...

Since there has been a serious lack of match reports lately, here's one from the Raiders:

Raiders 2 - 0 Uni Stallions.
Another excellent win and the Raiders roll on. There were nervous times (mainly for me) in the leadup, with a few injuries about, but we got 10 on the pitch for kickoff. Jolly (forgot shin pads), Guy (working hard, no doubt) and Matt (fill in) came along eventually and gave us the numbers.
Stallions are not a bad team, I know this from playing them plenty in the past. But, apart from a couple of decent players and a few good periods, they didn't trouble us much on Wakefield last night.
Iain and myself had a lot of time in the midfield, with our opposites misdirecting a lot of passes. Our defence also gave us plenty of good ball, everyone across the back played very well and Karl was assured in goal. I think he had to make one save all night, the Stallions' forw...ards weren't up to much.
It was 0-0 at the half but about 10 minutes into the second spell Iain laid on a superb ball for Andy T, who got square of the goalie and dinked it over him. 1-0 was only what we deserved and then the Raiders kicked into gear. The last 30 minutes was ALL Raiders - we could have had a few more goals, but Iain's effort from outside the box, that hit the underside of the bar (goalie was completely stranded) made it comfortable.
They weren't in the same league as us and it reflected our confidence. The backs moved the ball out of their lines with ease, the midfielders linked well with wide players, and Andy T and Jules were dangerous all night. Jules had a couple of good chances but it just wasn't his night; he and Andy came back for the ball a lot and gave great options.
I've never been grabbed so much at corners or battling for headers (my marker at corners insisted on linking his arm through mine), the Stallions were quite handsy and bullish off the ball. Maybe they should have been concentrating on what their feet were doing instead of touching us up...
Matt and Pavel were excellent subs. Jolly managed to hurt himself landing after a screaming header, and Guy and Grant are in doubt for Saturday. It's getting to that part of the season where people are getting niggles, but we'll get there.
Superb effort all-round. Bring on Suburbs!

Marx claiming offside

So, we've done all the soul searching, philosophising and hypothesising, and still come up with with a 2-0 loss to the raiders. Maybe we're better off leaving it to the experts?

Raiders Tomorow Night

Ok, so last game they squashed us in midfield, ran riot up front, and their backs easily closed down any attack we could muster. Its going to be different this time. Lets turn to the archive for lessons:

http://unistallions.blogspot.co.nz/2010/07/bull-bear-stallions-3-v-uni-raiders-2.html

Clearly, we need Lister firing at goal, G-Mann charging down the middle, and can't afford to let Jason play any fancy football at the back. And mud, lots of mud. God, old match reports are always funny. I can now fess up that yes my pinpoint pass to Tristin was a shanked shot. I feel better getting that off my chest.

Funniest moment is in the comments when Panda celebrates Liverpool signing Joe Cole for 3 years. Ha!

Crazy

Western Suburbs:
Goals for: 80
Goals Against: 25
Goal Differential: 55

Fantasy Update

Yeah, umm, its taken a while, but I have finally updated the Fantasy points. Missing a lot of games and relying on some match reports (some non-existant ones even) doesn't help much, but hopefully there are not too many inaccuracies in this.  So here is the current grand totals (not counting the Inter match which we are still relying on some other mvp points nominations). Few nominations the week before either so I just gave 3 to Paul - the whole 2 people who nominated suggested he deserved them.  Perhaps this is all getting a little too boring and we should stop?

Anyways, here are the totals - not surprising is the runaway leader, and good to see the the D is slowly climbing up the ladder. Obviously this season still remaisn a tough one for the D fantasy wise ...

Rauru	97
Logan	47
Lloyd	47
Paddy	46
Aaron	44
Panda	35
Tom	32
Graham	30
Robin	29
Tangihaere	24
Paul	20
Mike B	13
Spencer	12
Joe	11
Jason	11
Corey	5