Week one pony vs Wairarapa

Tangihaere	3 (25%)
Paddy	7 (58%)
Dan	2 (16%)

Votes so far: 12
Poll closed 

Stapled

As a scorer of towering headed goals and king of back flicks to keeper its fair to say I'm out for a few weeks. 9 staples into 2 head wounds, potential ongoing concussion. And all I could think was, there goes ALL that pre season fitness. 2 weeks until the staples to come out, hopefully will be fine to play after that.

Good luck Stallies, I'll get to as many games as I can as a spectator.

Welcome to Div 3 Stallions

0-3, beaten by the Biber clone army. And that excellent older centreback (by older I mean he would be average age in our team), who I'm sure I've seen playing on tv for their firsts, with Ifill.

We decided that since its first game of the season we would do a team vote for the first pony. 3 clear options (don't let the lead image sway your decision - this is bigger than Trump vs Cruz). Votes have to be made by Tuesday, 'winner' needs to have match report ready by Friday. Here goes:

1. Tangihaere - for the first time in Stallions history, a player warms up wearing headphones. Yes, we are in the big leagues, but not that big. The team responded creatively - awarding him the Dick Smith liquidation award, and that knowing T's relationship with technology (his phone ain't that smart, he is still working out what this email thing is etc) joking that the headphones are probably attached to a discman down the front of his pants. Also he left at half time and we conceded three goals.

2. Paddy - Getting owned by the ref. After complaining about yet another offside, the ref marched him over, and in front of a lot of players said something like: 'You can keep complaining or you can try to defend'. He may as well thrown in a Yo Momma joke - though the Rapa boys would be too young to understand the reference.

3. Dan - its a generous team that lets its '3rd choice keeper' play in the outfield, and then even take goal kicks. There is a reason. Spotting Paddy on the right hand touchline, Dan tries to deceive the opposition by using the outside of the foot, with the most predictable of results ...

Okay get your votes in - poll is in the sidebar.

Fun fact - if you do a google image search for toe hack - a picture of the Stallions from the blog is the 15 image that comes up.

Damn - after all of that we never even talked about Stallion moment. Any options?

Interesting - Thirds go down 2-1 to Brooklyn,

Final game of Div 4 vs Wainui, 2015

With 2 hours until kickoff of division 3 2016, it seems that in Injustice of 2015 has been served. Before continuing any further, it should be noted that this blog post has been done using voice to text software and so any mistakes and the writing at to be expected. The Injustice is that a memorable stallions hedrick has gone unrecorded. A certain centre back who was sitting on a doughnut of 0 goals for the season played in the final game of the season and a striking role. Those who will not present would not believe it Mister T Walker was not only capable, but actually managed to score $3 period each of the three goals was as man it was as and memorable as each other darn not have zero goes for the season played in the final game of the season and stroking roll. Those who would not present would not believe that Mr T work I was not only capable, but actually managed to score 3 goals. Each of the three girls was as mine it was a son memorable as each other and soulat. Probably the most funny and stallion like outcome of this game was the fact that despite a hattrick being scored the stallions still managed to go on and lose the game 4 3 2 1 of the bottom teams in the table. Again, the way in which those 4 goals were conceded is largely been lost to the memory of time, however it is fair to say bit each goal was as biggerstaff up as the one that preceded it. 3 of the girls or was it 2 were considered by the food's team Cuba who wouldn't have looked out of place in the stallions goal circa 2004 period the other one or two goals were conceded by the stallion stuffed choice goalkeeper who, along with his Bubblegum hamstrings, managed to break his hand on an opposing players he does in mean time to score yet somehow the referee pulled the gold back and disallowed it for foul play on the keeper. This is as close to a contender for stallions and ponies as we will possibly ever say. In summary, 3 goals were scored by Tony Heidi Emma records should show their period PS I think I have created the new way to write stallions blogs. Voice to text is the way of the future.!

A wikileaks exclusive - previously unseen texts following the Stallion's final game of 2015

Sat, 22 August 16:38
Anonymous 1: 'We're off to the Speight's Ale House. Tangihaere scored a hat trick and we lost 4-3!'

Anonymous 2: 'Bullshot'

Anonymous 2: 'Bullshit'

Sat, 22 August, 17:40
Anonymous 2: 'Still there?'

Anonymous 1: 'Seriously! All thru balls for one on ones. Nah, I had to go home as **** (name removed to protect the innocent) has gone out and I'd imagine that most of the guys wouldn't have hung around that long'.

Anonymous 2: 'Nah, I still ain't buying it. You are f**king with me'.

Anonymous 1: 'Haha. Case of boy who cried wolf eh. You'll just have to wait for the match report then. or text Gus. or anyone! Honest. He had a decent one on one that he missed too'.

And we are still waiting ...

Stallions Preseason/Fire up the blog

Going into gameweek 1, most Div 3 teams have played 5 preseasons, have run endless shuttles and have spent hours in front of a whiteboard devising tactics. But can they do this:

Complete with smart-arse commentary and heard on the sidelines #50-90, including a few goodies:

'A swing and a miss'

'Tangi got smashed'.

'That famous left foot'

'Yeah, kick him in the arse'

'This is no different from Tangi's usual Saturday morning'.

'Ha ha, he got kicked in the back of his head by his own team mate'

'Line him up, line him up, get him!'

'Dan hasn't touched the ball but he's killed 45 people'

And just like last season it ends up with Tangihaere rounding his marker and slotting a left footed goal. And Nick in a dress.

DC looking good - early favourite for player of the season.

2015 Stats Archived Here

Pretty good season, yep, that's a pretty good season. Farewell and F**k you Div 4



Games Played:17
Won:11
Lost:5
Drawn: 1
Place on table:2
Next up: Wainui
Fights: 1
Goals for:45
Goals Against:36
GD: +11

Yellow Cards: Rauru (2), Heath, Paddy, Chris, Lloyd

Red Cards: Bakky, Thad
Goal Scorers: Milky (9), Carrick (7), Rauru (5), TANGIHAERE (3), Bakkie (3), Oggie (3), Hamish (2), Dan (2), Loric (2), Lloyd (2), Logan (2), Thad, Scott, Aaron, Gerald, Paddy, Nick, Heath, Chris
Assists: Paddy (5), Carrick (4), Rauru (4), Heath (2), Gerald (2), Milky(2), Dan (2), Bakky, Graham, Scott, Aaron, Lloyd, Paul, Nick, Logan
Current Stallion:Chris
Current Pony:
Injury table: Tim, Heath