Brooklyn double punch KOs stallies 4-1

We never did agree a pony in the collective post match sigh, although I did offer myself for an short lived attempt to go 'coast to coast' at 0-3 (my dark clouds brewing goalkeeping alter ego "Mr. Happy" was awoken from a long hibernation after we conceded those two quick goals. Sorry.) 

And while I was prepared to take pony at one point I'm now claiming an immunity idol after Lloydo and I endured the Brooklyn 'song' in the sheds. The only actual words I could make out were "Brooklyn bogans, Brooklyn bogans" and something that sounded strangely like 'tribal chant, tribal twats'. 

Maybe thats just mr happy talking again as the game was actually played in a pretty good spirit and there's no denying the better team won, even if some would argue the score was a little flattering for them. We were right in it at 0-1 at the break but the double punch inside the first five minutes of the restart did for us. The break was strangely scattered - lets get a good huddle on this week, collect and regroup to start strong second half.

Brooklyn's filthy language saw two of them booked for off the ball profanities. Just no place for that on the modern family friendly game. Especially as it clearly distracted the ref who somehow failed to book Paddy for bringing down my tackler (on must have been half way was it?) and the guy who did that 'from behind double raised foot scissor chop' on Kelland.

Speaking of whom, Kelland was my MOTM for energetic running and heaps of little moves to beat his man or create space when he received the ball. Rhune (sp? sorry!) also played really well at right back for half a hour shoring  up the fading defense and launching some threatening late on the day attacks with Paddy. Thanks fellas!

Personal highlight for me was watching Lloydo at full speed sprinting after a through ball with about 15 to go. He appeared to be outrunning his personal

sound barrier - leaning further and further backwards riding the bow wave which threatened to blow him backwards at any second. Keep it up boss.

Fantastic running to the end from Gus and Milky and we deserved our goal, if not a pen for that flop!

Their fourth goal (bouncing ball lob) was a direct result of me feeling very prone to another through ball and coming too far forward only to be caught in no mans land. One on ones from through balls seem so much more dangerous on a fast and true turf surface, making it harder to real guys in, and along the ground shooting is easier too with no boggles, so maybe worth thinking about defending deeper for both the line and the keeper on turf. Kelburn Park should slow things down a bit for us thus week though!

Lloydo for stallion for driving the family to Martinborough Sthen himself back for footie then back again. Apparently Briony was very understanding when he reminded her about football just as he left her in the 'rapa with four kids.

Bring on Petone. Great call from Aaron to recall our collective happy place, and tremendous discount liquor store find there from Heath.

4 games, 0 wins - a tough start. Lets remember the good days of Div 4 domination

Work life pony

There is, it seems, no place in the lofty heights of Capital 3 for the frivolity of a pink head band.

As an alternative punishment, I propose ponies must submit a photo of them in usual work attire, and a typical scene, appropriately accessorised.

And yes, this may affect pony nominations... Lloydo and Heath with the captains of industry, Rauru and Gus in front of a class of kids! DC advising Bill English on tax havens, Aaron beholding the Julian Dashper exhibit.. feel free to go full David Brent 100% dead pan..

Leading off with Pony Daycare

Heard on the sidelines #132917

Paddy to Poppy: 'I see you have been raiding your father's wardrobe again.' I think he was referring to that cute little bunny onesie, but it works just as well for the headband - amirite Dan (how about you talk us through that shot 'on goal' and how it stacks up alongside other pony contenders)?

Perhaps next season we invest in a pink bunny onesie to be worn by the pony in warmups.

Good effort yesterday, tough result. Reckon we just shaded them in the first half, but clearly tired in the second. Bolstered midfield looked real solid, though the formation did make Carrick run all day long - a huge effort. Next week - if we had to chose a team to beat first it would be Brooklyn - lets do them.

Will the headband even fit?

After hearing of my 3-4 week concussion stand-down period, Graham decided to come to the rescue, working with Diego Costa's mask-maker to come up a protective head device, one that was in keeping with the umm, my character.

Nice work Graham.

Week one pony vs Wairarapa

Tangihaere	3 (25%)
Paddy	7 (58%)
Dan	2 (16%)

Votes so far: 12
Poll closed 

Stapled

As a scorer of towering headed goals and king of back flicks to keeper its fair to say I'm out for a few weeks. 9 staples into 2 head wounds, potential ongoing concussion. And all I could think was, there goes ALL that pre season fitness. 2 weeks until the staples to come out, hopefully will be fine to play after that.

Good luck Stallies, I'll get to as many games as I can as a spectator.

Welcome to Div 3 Stallions

0-3, beaten by the Biber clone army. And that excellent older centreback (by older I mean he would be average age in our team), who I'm sure I've seen playing on tv for their firsts, with Ifill.

We decided that since its first game of the season we would do a team vote for the first pony. 3 clear options (don't let the lead image sway your decision - this is bigger than Trump vs Cruz). Votes have to be made by Tuesday, 'winner' needs to have match report ready by Friday. Here goes:

1. Tangihaere - for the first time in Stallions history, a player warms up wearing headphones. Yes, we are in the big leagues, but not that big. The team responded creatively - awarding him the Dick Smith liquidation award, and that knowing T's relationship with technology (his phone ain't that smart, he is still working out what this email thing is etc) joking that the headphones are probably attached to a discman down the front of his pants. Also he left at half time and we conceded three goals.

2. Paddy - Getting owned by the ref. After complaining about yet another offside, the ref marched him over, and in front of a lot of players said something like: 'You can keep complaining or you can try to defend'. He may as well thrown in a Yo Momma joke - though the Rapa boys would be too young to understand the reference.

3. Dan - its a generous team that lets its '3rd choice keeper' play in the outfield, and then even take goal kicks. There is a reason. Spotting Paddy on the right hand touchline, Dan tries to deceive the opposition by using the outside of the foot, with the most predictable of results ...

Okay get your votes in - poll is in the sidebar.

Fun fact - if you do a google image search for toe hack - a picture of the Stallions from the blog is the 15 image that comes up.

Damn - after all of that we never even talked about Stallion moment. Any options?

Interesting - Thirds go down 2-1 to Brooklyn,

Final game of Div 4 vs Wainui, 2015

With 2 hours until kickoff of division 3 2016, it seems that in Injustice of 2015 has been served. Before continuing any further, it should be noted that this blog post has been done using voice to text software and so any mistakes and the writing at to be expected. The Injustice is that a memorable stallions hedrick has gone unrecorded. A certain centre back who was sitting on a doughnut of 0 goals for the season played in the final game of the season and a striking role. Those who will not present would not believe it Mister T Walker was not only capable, but actually managed to score $3 period each of the three goals was as man it was as and memorable as each other darn not have zero goes for the season played in the final game of the season and stroking roll. Those who would not present would not believe that Mr T work I was not only capable, but actually managed to score 3 goals. Each of the three girls was as mine it was a son memorable as each other and soulat. Probably the most funny and stallion like outcome of this game was the fact that despite a hattrick being scored the stallions still managed to go on and lose the game 4 3 2 1 of the bottom teams in the table. Again, the way in which those 4 goals were conceded is largely been lost to the memory of time, however it is fair to say bit each goal was as biggerstaff up as the one that preceded it. 3 of the girls or was it 2 were considered by the food's team Cuba who wouldn't have looked out of place in the stallions goal circa 2004 period the other one or two goals were conceded by the stallion stuffed choice goalkeeper who, along with his Bubblegum hamstrings, managed to break his hand on an opposing players he does in mean time to score yet somehow the referee pulled the gold back and disallowed it for foul play on the keeper. This is as close to a contender for stallions and ponies as we will possibly ever say. In summary, 3 goals were scored by Tony Heidi Emma records should show their period PS I think I have created the new way to write stallions blogs. Voice to text is the way of the future.!

A wikileaks exclusive - previously unseen texts following the Stallion's final game of 2015

Sat, 22 August 16:38
Anonymous 1: 'We're off to the Speight's Ale House. Tangihaere scored a hat trick and we lost 4-3!'

Anonymous 2: 'Bullshot'

Anonymous 2: 'Bullshit'

Sat, 22 August, 17:40
Anonymous 2: 'Still there?'

Anonymous 1: 'Seriously! All thru balls for one on ones. Nah, I had to go home as **** (name removed to protect the innocent) has gone out and I'd imagine that most of the guys wouldn't have hung around that long'.

Anonymous 2: 'Nah, I still ain't buying it. You are f**king with me'.

Anonymous 1: 'Haha. Case of boy who cried wolf eh. You'll just have to wait for the match report then. or text Gus. or anyone! Honest. He had a decent one on one that he missed too'.

And we are still waiting ...