Uni Stallions 4 - 1 Eastbourne

Match report from Bakky: The game was played on a very small pitch, which I though we played well on. There was a lot of niggles to the ref (Bakky) and a lot of niggling towards the opposition. Little shits need a spanking :-) and the stallions were the team to give them one. The game started slow and it took a scrappy shot from 40 yards to sneak into the near post, early goal to Eastbourne! (Eds note: 40 yards?! I thought people only exagerate when it's their own goal they're talking about. It was more like 20 yards, 25 tops)  I would say on this pitch it was actually from around 25yrds. (Not very well hit but effective). (Eds note: Oh, I should have kept reading I guess.  But just cause the pitch is smaller doesn't make...never mind).  We needed to shut down the runners from the mid field. The referee was being assessed but made a few errors both ways but from what I saw I thought he had a reasonable game, even if I gave him a bollocking constantly throughout the first half, The Assessor came to me and said if he was refereeing he would have sent me off, I said to him that I wouldn't have said what I said as he would have given the penalty….Once we calmed ourselves down we started adding on the pressure and finally our first goal came from some great play down the right, it ended up with Heath putting in a long throw from the by line, in which I (Bakky) flicked it on and Lloyd who comfortably controlled it and danced around one defender to slip it through the keepers legs, great finish Lloyd 1 - 1. Our second goal came again from the right once again with a good cross coming from Heath the ball had a few attackers on it but was headed out from the Eastbourne centre back, the ball dropped to me (Bakky) where I was sitting around 16yrds on the angle I hit it on the half volleyed and it flew into the side netting of the far post, again good build up play from us down the right (paddy, heath). The third goal came from a loose ball which was bobbling around just outside the 6yrd box, and Carrick did a great job getting to the ball first and sneaking it passed the keeper. Good finish to some good build up! We controlled the game well but let our self down in finishing, the score could have been a lot more at the half; it wasn’t really till the last 20mins of the first half that we started to dominate. The second half started and that’s when the niggling started all over the pitch.  Paddy got nuts twice I was told, Rauru took out a toddler, Bakky almost getting sent off and with all the name calling going on I thought I was back at pre school. There's not much I remember about the second half apart from the fourth goal of the game from a break in play, there was a high ball in which I (Bakky), out jumped a little boy who kept calling me fat, The ball dropped to Lloyd who chipped the keeper from about 12yrds on the angle, very good quality goal.

Eds note:  Bakky obviously Pony despite scoring one and getting two assists.  Bringing the Stallions name into disrepute hasn't been used in a while but this was worthy.  Never heard so much moaning and decent to a ref, and this is from the King Albatross himself!
Stallion was Lloyd for scoring a double and an all round bull-busting game (is 'bull-busting' even a thing?)