Stallions 2 - 3 Olympic

The curse of the turf continues, with a hard fought and narrow loss to the Greeks. The spirit of the game was considerably fairer than the conditions, as the small weather window in an otherwise dreadful day slammed shut with about 20 minutes to go.

Unfortunately this coincided with us having to chase the game at 2-3 down after losing our 2-1 half time lead. A committed second half defensive effort, with the two goals conceded being a very well taken no look swivel volley and a direct free kick past the wall and under the bar. Despite a few half chances and some very light on his feet forays into the box from Steve 'I don't miss pens' Davey, we couldn't find an equaliser.

The boring option for stallion would be Steve for clinically finishing his two one on ones (one of which may even have been onside!)

But what about Graham for that tremendous rhino hit!! (And was it actually outside the box???) Super effort overall from G, who got a late nod to keep (3:20pm). Raring to go after the bye then work commitments kept him out last week, first time in goal this year, to make a string of tremendous saves, including close range diving efforts at the start of both halves, one fully legit double save special, and plucking a swirler out of the top left corner. You totally kept us in it G.

No ridiculous pony worthy moments were there? A possible repetition fine for Gerald after another winding/ body blow incident. And the curious incident of Mus being called for a second foul throw for foot off the ground, when, as far as I could tell, he was standing dead still with both feet on the ground...

Despite the result, a pretty good feeling in the shed afterwards, buoyed up by Heath as always. A much more positive sense after a full round than after the first three games eh boys! Great to see the stallies approach continuing, with three half time subs last week and Lloydo showing the way by subbing today despite his usual strong midfield presence, and Briony having just turned up to watch.

The second round presents the very achievable challenge of clawing a few rungs higher into the pretty even mid table. Let's start well against the Bieber clone army next week. Speaking of which, where's Bakky starting?

Goals: Milky (Lloyd), Milky (Heath?)

Stallies 4 - 4 Upper Hutt

A tremendous crowd pleasing second half of two halves saw the stallies extend their unbeaten run to four weeks* with a hard fought 4-4 draw against a remarkably unbogan like Upper Hutt.

Gus told me I was stallion but I don't remember what for. Tangihaere picked up the pink for a wee back pass / through ball. Report from me as an act of contrition for going full Mr. Happy on poor Tangi over the merits of man marking vs sweeping. Sorry pal!

Stallies down 1-2 down at half time after Carrick demonstrated the correct response to a marginal pony call by scoring in the pink (ooh err..) with a well taken first time chip, and we conceded from a couple of goal mouth melees.

I must've suppressed the first half of the second half which saw us 2-4 down - was it Gus who scored into the far post from the right hand side?? It was all warm up for the real talking point, with the ref awarding us two pens in the last 10 minutes, duly dispatched by Steve.

UH will have felt hard done by with the result, and we definitely got a reprieve. But let's bank the point on focus on pushing into mid table, and gap the bottom two.

Heard on sidelines: ref to paddy at the end "so that's 5-4 to them, eh?" Not clear if this means the last (Gus flop) penalty was the refs equivalent of a sympathy f*ck..

*ok this does include the bye but hey..

Goals(assists): Carrick (Dan), Gus?, Milky (pen), Milky (pen/Gus)

Approach from Island Bay

Just approached by Nic Goodall (Island Bay) > as Cap Football had informed him that Island Bay needed to progress a transfer for "Steve Davey", found within a list of players that Cap Football believed had been playing for the Bay in 2016 or were requesting to now register with Island Bay.

News to me!! Told them they would need to come back to me with a significant $ offer!


Further discussion turned to Nic Goodall inquiring if the Stallions might entertain his return to be a Stallion in 2017 ?

For the FPL Stallions: FPL Season Round Up

The 2015/2016 FPL season has finished. And it was a good one, well at least at the top which went right to the wire. But as should always happen, Good triumphed over evil, the fans were appeased, the crown returned to the King.

From top to bottom:

Player: Aaron

Team: Staccies

2016: Champion

History: 4 time champ

Unlike the EPL, the powerhouse, bookie’s favourite, won the FPL. Why not? Has won 4 out 6 seasons (not enough room on the sleeves for all those stars). This is the name other teams whisper in fear at night. Survived a dodgy start (remember this Rauru? - http://unistallions.blogspot.co.nz/2015/08/fantasy-epl.html) but took the lead 3/4 through and never relented. Never in doubt. Virtually unbeatable. Did rely on the help of Payet: 2 big captain hauls at key moments (one triple captain to counter Gerald’s bench boost).

EPL-alike: Chelsea (just not this season’s version): Arrogant, dirty, talks it up, hated by all teams (but secretly admired), history shows a couple of missteps, but always odds on to win in a canter. Draws all the neutrals, the shirt sponsorships and tv rights.

Player: Heath

Team: Nosejobs

2016: Runner up

History: 2 x runner up

As with the real Stallions, arrived with swagger into FPL with a bunch of new players (Gerald, Tim) to blow away most of the original players. Dangerous: a bit of a wildcard, makes some crazy choices, many of which come off. But his regular bridesmaid-to-Aaron status is something most other teams can only dream of. This season he nearly pulled off a final game miracle. Facing a 50 point deficit, he captains Mane, brings in Giroud, and ends up cutting that lead to a dangerously close 15 points. As Aaron got negative points as Smalling scored an oggie, all looked like the season might be over. Oh yes, and where did he come from this season? Rauru, remember this? - http://unistallions.blogspot.co.nz/2015/08/fantasy-epl.html

EPL-alke: Arsenal (F**kers)

Player: Gerald

Team: Palmy13
2016: 3rd

History: 1 x runnerup, 2 x 3rd

The thinking man’s team. Throughly researched, smart moves, somehow managed to patiently save his wildcard for the final game (how did that work out for you G? EPIC FAIL!) - but boring, lacking the high-risk approach of Heath who he is consistently fighting with for 2nd and 3rd. Terrible end of season - was playing for first with 2 games to go, had all the advantages - but choked  - not only lost the battle for first, but watched as Heath stole second place on the final day. Yes, its obvious who the EPL-alike is:

EPL-alike: Tottenham

Player: Nick

Team: South Coast Taniwha

2016: 4th

History: 2nd (twice), 3rd (3 times)

Tradition. This is Nick’s 10th FPL season (far more than the other Stallions). Congratulations! A decade of mediocrity! Has never won the Stallions League (and the fact that he does much better in the Island Bay leagues illustrates the relative IQs of both clubs). You never know what you are going to get from Nick: hints of brilliance but then some absolute, absolute shite. Almost feels like he will be a contender, but then inevitably falls away - probably as a result of wasting time on endless twitter battles with Rauru. His FPL style is much like his infamous ‘I fell in the duckshit’ penalty fail for the Stallions.

EPL-alike: Stoke (a-lona). Tradition - the oldest surviving team in the EPL, impossible to know who is going to show up, and he has an embarrassing man crush on Arnautovic.

Player: Tim

Team: White Line Fever

2016: 5th

History: 1 x champion

Won the league on his debut season, blowing everyone away. Looked like a new force had arrived, but has suffered the indignity of mid table finishes ever since. A far better player than Nick and really should be finishing higher than him. Led the league for parts of the season, always looked like he was going to pounce. Plays with resolve and determination. Will argue for weeks why a particular player will score soon (discussing formations, pitch conditions, top 40 singles), but perhaps outplays/nutmegs himself. 

EPL-alike: Leicester (in about 3 years). After a believe-it-or-not winning season has dropped down to be average at best, always dining out on the ‘good old days’ stories of the 13/14 season. May end up running a pub with Jamie Vardy (no bouncers required there).

---

This is the point where if we had relegation, it would kick in. Wouldn’t that be hilarious - especially Rauru having to go play in the championship for a season.

Player: Logan

Team: Cheong Ju Tigers
2016: 6th

History: last, last, relegated/did not play, 2nd to last, 2nd to last, 3rd to last.

I guess that history makes this Logan’s most successful season yet! Congrats! Oh yes, do we remember this - http://unistallions.blogspot.co.nz/2015/08/fantasy-epl.html
Started the season on fire - but that is because it was such a topsy turvy period which rogue, wildcard actions actually stood a chance. Red arrows pretty much ever since, well at least until Rauru started spending 100s of transfer points in a desperate attempt to look like he didn’t give a shit any more. Logan tries the same game: he’s always apparently too busy, he didn’t have time, he forgot - but somehow transfers seemed to be made. Next season I propose we set up an average dummy team in GW1, make no transfers all season, and I bet it beats Logan. But he’s funny as hell, and brings necessary humour to the game.

EPL-alike - these guys, since its just too easy to say Norwich (and I feel kind of sad for Norwich):

Player: Rauru

Team: #Stallions

2016: 7th

History: 1 x champion, runnerup (twice)

A stain on this fine game, an embarrassment to that team name. Talks the most smack, but delivers the least results. In fairness, at least he kept the banter going all season ever when it was clear where he was going to finish. A once proud, championship winning side in tatters. Spent weeks saying he had unearthed a fpl gem player, kept this secret for ages, and then told us it was ... wait for it ... wait for it ... Scott Sinclair. Sums up his season and the vision right there.

There is only one possible EPL-alike - Newcastle (not that excellent final game Newcastle who would have put 5 past any team in Europe). The comparsison is both in the team (ugly, aggressive, painful to watch), and its star player - Rauru’s self destruction over the last couple of game weeks is much like Mitrovich in the Spurs game: scores a goal, an assist, then blatantly tries to break someone’s leg, gets sent off, walks off swearing at everyone, taking a swing at his own players. Class.

Player: Graham

Team: Tractor Boys

2016: Last

History: 2nd to last, 3rd to last, last, last, last ( I see a pattern forming)

We all know that Graham is a legit genius, but what the hell is up with this? He doesn’t seem to be playing (10 transfers all season - Rauru’s done that many before breakfast), but then suddenly he plays - when it seems there is a chance to beat Logan or Rauru. He is a genius and he is competitive  - total f**ken enigma. He might be running this whole game/world as far as I know. He certainly could dedicate his non-shaving time to team selection - perhaps that way he would not be so bad. 

EPL-alike: Aston Villa (he is so Aston Villa he made this comparison himself on twitter, but I guess when you support Ipswich in real life you will take anything.)

In fairness though, as this table from the end of the 2011(?) season shows, Graham didn’t finish last when the other Stallions used to play - who is that Indifferent player right down the bottom there? And who is this Miracle of Istanbul? Maybe a return from relegation for these and other new players next season? You will end up somewhere below Heath, Gerald, Tim, but above Nick, Rauru and Logan. 

#	Team	Manager	GW	TOT
	1	005	Aaron L	51	2,151
	2	Poroufessor	Rauru Walker	56	1,970
	3	koomes	Daniel Wharakura	50	1,968
	4	Porirua City	Jason Aitofi	23	1,943
	5	South Coast Taniwha	Nick Goodall	43	1,772
	6	Miracle of Istanbul	Patrick Sawyer	56	1,765
	7	Portman Rd Plodders	Graham Mann	55	1,735
	8	LL	Lachlan Lepper	32	1,643
	9	Team Indifferent	Paul Kilford	19	1,449

Until next season ... Rauru, since your EPL predictions were SO off target again, maybe you should start the fpl season with some prediction?

God is there really a blog tag 'Aaron wins again' - I'll use that one (its just above 'Aaron bowls pies'.

Final standings:

	#	Team	Manager	GW	TOT
	1	Staccies	Aaron L	42	2,233
	2	Nosejobs	heath smith	77	2,218
	3	Palmy13	Gerald Joe	54	2,200
	4	South Coast Taniwha	Nick Goodall	56	2,143
	5	White line Fever	Tim Robinson	45	2,131
	6	Cheong Ju tigers	Logan Mead	34	1,995
	7	#Stallions	Rauru Walker	45	1,944
	8	Tractor Boys	Graham Mann	51	1,622

Stallions 5 - 1 Marist

Terrific result in the weekend fellas, and great to get two in a row!

Some excellent finishing - and delivery for headed goals - with Milky's promotion to up front proving very effective. We got the wobbles a little after their sensational header to blind volley from 30 yards wonder goal, but very pleasing how we then got it back together and took it away from them. (Actual signs of fitness??)

Nice that a wee group stuck around for a post match beer in the Marist club rooms - let's try keep this up as a nice way to regroup and award pony/ stallion.

Bravo to Carrick in taking one for the team and playing in the midfield again. Insult to injury old chap, but you've been ponified (a weaker form of beatified, though not requiring a miracle and death). Line call, but you've been pinged for standing on the ball and falling over in open play. (To the Masterton boys, this is called "DCing it" after Paul famously snapped his ankle on a 5cm raised platform on his first day in a summer job). Runner up points to milky for arriving ten seconds before kick off, Paddy for "it wasn't really handbags, more like purses" describing an altercation, Gus for the Johnny Wilkinson psyche up on a corner which was toe poke-sliced straight out?

Stallion? Milky for his triple fake shot, then into the bottom corner? Gus for taking one in the business then carrying on to shoot and score? Paul for another one on one double block at 2-1?

Enjoy the bye this weekend, do try to stretch the legs a little, or spend some quality time with the kids practising your nutmegs (Paddy..) Next up Upper Hutt at KP in two weeks, with Aaron and Gerald (and Heath?) likely back in the mix. Tangi, Mus - you've got two weeks to grow your beards into something suitable for taking up defensive place alongside Graham, Dan and Gus!

Goals: Milky (2), Rauru (2), Gus (1).
Assists: Dan (Gus), Julian (R1) ???

Heard on the Sidelines #3781

"Did the ref not call that offside? I could have scored that I just didn't try."

 This was the first half one that hit the outside of the post, not the second half one that was put straight into the keeper from point blank range. ;)

Stallions 3 Petone 1

Lets talk through all of those beautiful goals:

Lloyd a towering header from a pinpoint Paddy corner

Milky a piledriver left footer which must have almost broke the net - was there an assist here?

Carrick a glorious header across the goalmouth leaving tiny keeper stranded, off another great Paddy cross.

Some of the best goals scored by Stallions surely? In terms of quality but also importance.

Other talking points?

- Paul, with nothing much too, watching the league next door, comes out of his box to claim a grubber .... Its okay, because as Logan kept insisting 'He didn't touch it ref, he didn't touch it'. How was that not a card.

- Milky continually testing the keeper - one blasted from point blank range right into his hands, another reverse bicycle which hit the crossbar, not to mention another which thinking he was offside (but it wasn't called) 'just lost concentration' and gave up.

- Logan nuts-ing his marker by blasting the ball right through the upper thigh area, collecting a few dangling body parts on the way.

- Ballboy Heath slipping over on the cricket block and just about breaking his other wrist.

- After the game the Petone coach gently persuading us to change clubs - promising that we would play on better fields than Kelburn Park - WHAT? We love the KP carpet.

- And, how good was that to see so many Stallion's supporters on the sideline - admittedly it would be better if there were less injured Stallions there, but what a turn out from the stables ...